Still What I Need
by Chicago Firestarter
Summary: Sequel to "Just What I Needed" in the Kelly/Erin saga. Severide faces big challenges and perhaps his toughest physical and emotional obstacle ever. Will his relationship with the detective survive? Will he come out of the tragedy the same, brash lieutenant? Ch. 16 is up with two people in the hospital.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my sequel to "Just What I Needed," the Erin/Kelly fanfic I so enjoyed writing. I'd love to see the two pair up, even if only temporarily. Never smooth sailing for Kelly, so hang on. Hope you enjoy.**

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It was a cold March day, a damn cold day, Matthew Casey thought as he threw on a stocking cap and laced up his running shoes.

"Don't go," said Gabby turning back the covers on the bed. "It's so warm in here. And I know just what to do to make it warmer."

"Ahhh, don't tempt me," said Casey wondering why the hell he'd signed up for this race four months ago. Severide. Yeah, Kelly said it would be "fun" and Boden had been pushing for his guys to participate. The higher ups at CFD decided this 10K run would be the latest community outreach event. One in a line of recent outings designed to bolster their public perception after the backlash from all the closings.

"Hey, we're the leaders in the house. We gotta represent," said Kelly handing Matt the paperwork.

"Whatever it takes to get you to stop running alone in old construction sites," laughed Casey taking the registration form.

That'd been so long ago, so much had happened.

"Kelly's waiting for me. I gotta go, babe." Casey reluctantly pulled away and headed out the door.

They were the only two from 51.

Shay had snorted in disgust when Kelly tried to sign her up. "I love you, but NO," she said shaking her head. "That sounds like hell. Hey, I'll meet you for breakfast after."

Hermann and Mouch laughed at their younger friends knowing this winter wasn't giving out any time soon. "Freezin' my ass off, and my lower regions, no thank you," commented Hermann.

With Mouch adding, "So you WANT me to drop dead of a heart attack." He pushed his glasses up a little on his nose burying his face further into the newspaper he feigned reading.

"So we're the only ones crazy enough to face this shit today?" asked Kelly emerging from their Starbucks meeting point surveying all the snow still on the ground despite the calendar saying Spring had officially sprung.

"Us and about 1200 others," said Casey smiling at the coffee his friend held in his hand.

"I knew you wouldn't want one," Kelly said downing the last of his black coffee.

"How can you drink that before the race? It's dehydrating. You're crazy."

"Remember when we drank that 12 pack before we tried that half marathon?" laughed Kelly throwing his cup away. "Jesus, what was that? Ten, twelve years ago?"

"Yeah, not our finest hour," chuckled Casey remembering that day.

An all night drinking session preceding the race. They'd still been drunk when they headed out. They figured drinking a few more would help 'em sober up. They thought wrong.

"We made it, what? One mile? Ha!" "Andy was puking his guts out in that lady's yard.

That was my first big save. Saving his ass from a pissed off old lady with a broom," added Kelly, smile dissipating a little.

Their laughter faded out as the memory of their best friend grew. They walked silently toward the starting line, each with a scene from the past vivid in their minds. A memory with the goofy, lovable brother they lost two years ago. God, had it been that long, they both thought.

"Not to get into anything, but I gotta ask," started Kelly. "How are you doin' with Gabby? With her starting at 5 on Monday?"

Matt and Gabby had just gotten back to seeing each other regularly again. Shay's temporary stay with Dawson hadn't worked out, both deciding they were better as friends who lived apart. Matt and Gabby were house hunting once more, saying they were in love, giving it another shot.

Dawson passed her physical test the second time around, in a large part due to Kelly's help. He'd run her through drills over and over on almost every day off. Matt loved and hated him for it. Severide was probably the only one in the house that truly wanted to see Gabby make it as a firefighter.

Matt stayed positive about it, but not so secretly wasn't all in. Deep in his core, he wanted her to stay a paramedic at 51. Or go to medical school and pursue her original dream of becoming a doctor. Too damn dangerous, he thought, and said to himself over and over. He didn't want her at station 5, but he had no choice.

"We've been fighting about it. A lot," he admitted to his friend. "I try not to say too much. Everything comes out all wrong."

Kelly didn't want to give relationship advice, and he knew Matt wasn't gonna take it, especially from him, but holding his tongue wasn't a strong point.

"You gotta let her do it. She's got that look...the same one we had," said Kelly knowing he was overstepping.

"And again I'll say I'm not takin' relationship advice from you, Severide. But I appreciate you asking."

Silence again. Both men were stretching their legs, still having another fifteen minutes before the start.

"Well, I talked to Gutierrez at 5 and he's gonna keep an eye on Gabby. He's a good lieutenant. She'll learn a lot," Kelly knew he should drop it but wanted to let his friend know he understood on some level.

"That's good to know," said Matt sincerely. "Hey, how's Erin? Things still good?" he asked switching gears.

"Yeah. Good. Real good. Kinda waitin' for me to screw it up," he said laughing only half joking.

Erin Lindsay. The beautiful detective with so much more to her than that beauty. Kelly knew he was done for the minute they met up at Molly's. The minute she yelled at him in the hospital. The minute she was laying flat on her back a bullet hole through her side.

"Aren't you comin' up on a year? One Severide year is like seven for other couples, right?" joked Matt.

"Funny. Real funny," said Kelly giving him the death stare.

This is good, he thought. It'd been so long since they'd just hung out, doing something fun, bullshitting.

"Hey, thanks for agreein' to do this thing." "It's gonna be a great day," said Matt not realizing how wrong those words would turn out.

How this would end up one of the blackest days in their lives. In the history of their beloved city.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews and follows - such kind words and not much has happened yet. It's about to get real! Enjoy.**

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The gun went off signaling the start of the race, both men going at a snail's pace. They decided to take it easy, jogging and talking, although each vowed to cross the finish line just a little ahead of the other. Neither one would get to that line on this day.

They were about three miles in when the first boom was heard. And felt.

"What the hell?" yelled Kelly instinctively dropping to his knees feeling a reverberation in his chest. Casey put a hand on his shoulder steadying them both, almost trying to get his bearings. That sound, it didn't register.

Coming to their senses, they heard screaming about half a mile in front of them. Screaming, yelling...and a rush of people running straight at them. That's when they saw the smoke. As others ran away from the commotion, the two firefighters headed straight for it.

"A damn bomb!" yelled Casey over the masses screaming and running in all directions.

Bodies were strewn on a large stretch of sidewalk with some stunned victims stumbling around blood seeping from wounds. People were jumping in, helping the injured. Several called out that emergency services were on the way.

Kelly called 51 immediately.

"Chief, it's Severide. There's been an explosion at the race! Jesus Christ, bodies everywhere." Kelly watched in a daze as Casey ran to a fire erupting from what used to be a trash can and spreading to a grassy area. It took him a few seconds to act, to get his legs moving.

He started off in his friend's direction but saw someone lying in a nearby bush moaning softly. A young man, dressed in running gear from the waist up, the rest of him mostly gone. His legs literally missing, just a mass of blood in their place.

"Casey!" yelled Kelly taking off his jacket wrapping it tightly around one stump...all that was left of his right leg. He had nothing for the other. He wished he was in his familiar uniform, that belt, the suspenders would've come in handy.

Casey left the fire, running to his friend's side. His jacket was a burned, deteriorating piece of cloth.

"What's your name?" he asked the young man marveling that he wasn't screaming. Shock probably the cause of the calm.

"J-j- Jason W-Wilson," he replied. "I saw h-h-him," he continued.

"Jason, try to relax. You're gonna be okay," said Kelly grabbing at the other partial leg with his bare hands, applying pressure. He knew his T-shirt wouldn't do the trick and prayed an ambo would get there soon. But so many victims.

"I s-saw him. Black cap, b-b-backpack. L-looked at me." The young man began to shake violently.

"Shit!" cursed Kelly starting to take off his shirt.

"That's not gonna do anything," Casey intoned putting a hand on his shoulder stopping him. "Look, EMTs here. Hang on, Jason." Matt pulled Kelly's hands away replacing them with his own, applying more direct pressure. Everyone was busy taking care of victims, none of the emergency responders made a move in their direction. Hard to believe there were runners and bystanders in far worse condition.

A new blast took them by surprise coming from directly behind them. The force of it blowing out the windows of the houses across the street. They were lying flat on top of each other, Severide and Casey both flopping on Jason protectively. They were unhurt except for the incessant ringing in their ears.

They spun around looking at the blast site, a three story with flames shooting out of the windows. Another bomb set off from within, probably third story judging from the blackened hole in the building. Someone was screaming from inside. That scream neither man would forget anytime soon.

Casey had his hands on Jason ebbing the flow of blood. He knew if he left, the young man would surely die. Kelly took off toward the house.

"Shit, Kelly. Wait!" he screamed wondering if his friend could even hear him, the ringing in his own ears leaving him unable to hear much. Just that damn scream of the woman inside. Someone inside. He started yelling for help, anyone to come so he could join Severide. The nearby paramedics busily working on victims who had no one rendering aid.

Kelly felt the front door, not burning hot. He opened it easily, surprised it wasn't locked. Inside there wasn't much smoke on one, confirming his thought that the bomb went off further up. As he made his way to the second floor, things got intense, thicker smoke, some flames licking down from the ceiling. The screaming combined with the ringing in his ears created a pounding in his head. The yelling suddenly stopped and he wondered if he'd gone deaf. No, can still hear the creaking of burning wood upstairs, he thought, picking up the pace rushing from one room to the next.

The woman on two reluctantly jumped realizing she probably wouldn't be killed from a two story fall. A broken ankle seemed a small price to pay. Casey was the one really yelling now. He watched the woman fall and knew Kelly was inside still looking for her. In there with a T-shirt and sweat pants. He started screaming for Kelly, knowing there was no way he could be heard. Jason was fading, the blood loss immense. He was desperate and wanted to be in two places at once. Several times he considered leaving Jason, but he couldn't sentence the young man to death. No, he had to stay.

Sometimes help comes in the most unlikely of forms. Hank Voight was by his side saying something. Casey never thought he'd see the day he was happy to see the sergeant. Today was that day.

Voight took off his belt and tied off Jason's remaining left leg tightly.

"Severide's in there," yelled Casey getting up starting to sprint to the house.

"Get the hell in there!" Voight commanded.

BOOM! Another blast knocked Casey flat on his back a couple of feet. The hot air hit him in the face like a super sonic blow dryer. He'd felt it many times before but always in a burning building, surrounded by flames. Not houses and trash cans in his city blowing up. As he lay on his back immobile, he thought about bombs being deliberately set, about his friend in that house. The house that just blew up.

"Casey! Casey! Talk to me!" Erin Lindsay was on her knees feeling his body for shrapnel, any visible injuries.

"I'm okay," he whispered trying to lift himself up, thankful his back took the brunt of the fall, not his compromised head. She pushed him back down.

"Let them check you out," she commanded in her husky voice.

"No," he said pushing himself up. "Kelly," he said shaking his head trying to focus, get the cobwebs out. Panic and a sense of urgency settling in the clearer his mind got.

"What? Where's Kelly?" asked Erin panic rising in her to new levels. Thoughts of finding a bomber replaced with thoughts of finding her boyfriend, the man she loved.

"Casey!" she yelled in the lieutenant's face.

It did the trick. Casey snapped back and snapped into action.

"Erin," he started, rising to his feet, grabbing the detective's shoulders. "Kelly's in there," he said slowly motioning to the fallen house, "but I'm gettin' him out. I promise you. I'm gettin' him out."

He just hoped it would be alive.

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**Modeling this one after the Boston bombing. Much more to come in the next chapter - Erin makes an appearance and Casey and Kelly have that conversation I've always wanted them to about Andy Darden.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Kelly and Matt right in the mix of the bombing of course. Hope you enjoy. That sounds so wrong considering it's a bombing, but you know what I mean. Thank you for the reviews! No ChiFi for a couple of weeks, so I'm cranking this one out pretty fast. **

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Kelly felt the air sucked out of him. Literally every bit of air sucked out to the point where he felt his lungs so deflated he thought he would never breathe another breath again. This must be what dying feels like, he thought, conscious of how his body was falling down, down. The blast itself didn't hurt; it was so far away from him. He guessed down in the basement. It was everything around him driving into his body that hurt...part of the house collapsing around and on top of him. Literally broken apart.

Finally, he crashed down to the lowest level, couldn't go any deeper except maybe hell itself. His shoulder hit first crashing through boards, his back taking more of the force as he went through wood, landing on concrete, a stopping point at last. He heard the scream pick up again. He hadn't heard the woman in quite some time, had never found her. Now there was that damn scream again.

The pain in his shoulder was a hot fire, his back spasming already, the agony far worse than his broken neck, worse than anything he'd ever felt. He didn't think that was possible, that pain from over a year ago that had him eating pain pills like candy. Stealing them, trading sex for them. Now he thought he'd do all of that and more for them.

He was on his back watching parts of the house fall on his body. Instinctively, he tried to hold his arms up around his head. Only one would go up, the other pinned underneath something. He turned his face to that side looking at the immobile limb as if it belonged to someone else. He dropped his uninjured arm back down not having the strength to keep it up... letting beams, bricks, drywall, the house hit him, wishing something would just knock him out, release him from that pain now covering his body. He realized he was breathing, his chest rising and falling so rapidly, so shallow. His mouth was open, dust and debris falling in, choking him. He couldn't hear the screaming anymore. Right before everything finally went black, he recognized that scream. It was his own.

Casey ran to the house, yelling Kelly's name. Over and over. Picking up one piece of wood after another. Erin following his lead. Part of the left side of the house remained standing but threatening to collapse and join the rest of its parts.

Chief Boden was on the scene looking for his lieutenants. Relief swept over him when he saw his firefighter, alive. He was at Matt's side grabbing him around his shoulders, pulling him in tight for a quick second. He slipped his turnout coat off putting it on the freezing Casey.

"You are getting checked out," he ordered pulling him back, seeing the haggard look in Casey's eyes. Not liking the lack of stability in the partial house above them, he pushed Matt and Erin back.

They looked around at all the paramedics treating the seriously wounded. A scurry of activity, everyone with a purpose. Nurses and doctors who were initially running or cheering on others at the race jumped in wherever needed. Really anyone with any medical training at all helping, treating the fallen.

"Chief, I'm fine. We gotta get Kelly out of there. He was on two," Casey's voice broke and Boden pulled him in again grabbing Erin also.

"What's wrong? What?" Clarke ran up on the three out of breath, panting hard.

"Severide's in there," said chief getting a handle on his emotions.

Clarke didn't say anything, looking at the pile that was a house a few minutes ago.

"Well, why are we just standin' around here playing grab ass. Let's get my lieutenant outta there," he said running to the house.

He did not start pulling pieces of house off the trash heap. Instead, he laid down flat at a dark open part of the pile. He flashed a light inside, not seeing much, just more beams, drywall.

"Severide! Call out!" he yelled into the black abyss. He pressed his head into the hole listening for something, anything. He couldn't hear anything. He knew what the deal was. He knew the chances of finding someone alive in there was slim. He also knew that it was possible. Earthquake victims pulled from under buildings three times the size of this house. People trapped for days...a week.

"Severide! Kelly! Call out!" he screamed louder. Again and again. Pausing to listen in between each call. After the fourth time, he heard it. A small cough, maybe classified as more of a wheeze. It sounded human.

"I heard him!" Clarke yelled at Casey, Boden, and Erin. "I'm gonna snake my way down there. Assess what we got. We'll work out a plan then." He removed his coat and jacket underneath.

"No," Casey said moving toward the gap. "I'm going."

"I can't let you do that," Boden replied grabbing Matt by the arm. "We need you checked out. It's been less than a year since your head injury. Clarke's going."

"I'm going. There isn't a damn thing you can do to stop me," said Casey looking the two men in the eye, challenging them.

"Okay," answered Clarke handing over his helmet with radio, knowing that he'd be wasting time arguing. "Crawl in as far as you can. Hopefully, close enough to get a look at the pocket he's in...how big, stable. You might be able to see how hurt he is. Based on what you find, we'll use a front loader or some small dozer to move this mess. Or we'll have to dig him out by hand."

Clarke knew he was giving some serious orders to a lieutenant and a chief, but he also knew they were having a hard time wrapping their brains around the situation. He'd been in enough binds in the military to know how to let go of all emotion and just act.

"Let's do it," said Casey moving to the gap and pushing in head first.

"Get in, then back out. Make it quick," said Boden holding Matt's shoulder shaking it lightly.

"You got it." Casey went in, the light on his helmet shining a pathway he could see was wide enough for him to get through. He sighed heavily, relieved that there was a gap, he wasn't met with a wall of bricks or wood.

The going was slow, but he was making progress.

"Nothing yet," he said every few feet knowing the people above were waiting for any news.

"Kelly! Call out!" he yelled over and over. "I can hear something," he said knowing the sound was not breathing but more of a groaning. It was the best and worst sound he'd heard. It meant his friend was alive. It also meant his friend was hurt.

It took a good 20 minutes but he finally reached squad's lieutenant, seeing one leg first. He crawled in closer sucking in his breath trying to make himself smaller. The space getting narrower and narrower. He was stopped before he could touch Kelly, a pile of cinderblock and bricks piled up in front of him. The opening just large enough so that Matt could see Kelly's leg. The other leg looked to be under piles of debris. He shone the light in seeing it was really from his hip all the way down to his foot, crushed beneath parts of the house.

It was so quiet, the sound of the groans seemed louder even though they were light.

"Kelly," he whispered. "Kelly," he tried again.

The moaning stopped abruptly.

"Took ya long enough," Kelly whispered back, his voice sounding different.

"Boden, Clarke. I got him. He's alive!"

Casey thought he could hear a cheer from outside but knew it had to be his imagination.

"He's pinned down," he added looking inside, noting the blood all along his friend's leg and hip. He craned his neck in the hole as far as it would go, shining the light directly on Kelly's face.

"No time for moving the crap by hand. Use whatever you got. Just do it." Casey saw that look on Kelly's face in other men's eyes before. Every single time, the victim had died. He knew Kelly cut the noises because he was there. But he was hurt. Bad.

"Okay, back outta there. We're getting the equipment now," commanded Boden.

"Negative. He doesn't have the thirty minutes it'll take me to get out of here. Do it now. Get us out." Casey wasn't moving.

There was no way in hell he was leaving his friend. He switched off the transmitting part of the radio, so no one else could hear him.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kelly. I'm right here, buddy. Okay? I'm right here," Casey pointed the light at his friend's face wishing he could pull him out of there, do something.

"Go. Please g-go," Kelly said a slip of a voice coming out. "I can't have a-a-another friend d-d..." A louder sound came from his lips, a cross between a cry and a scream.

"I can't have another person die on me, Severide, so you better hang in. You hear me?"

Nothing.

"Answer me, dammit," Casey yelled inside the hole.

"I hear ya," whispered Kelly.

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**Well, what do you think? More soon with a conversation between the friends I wish would have happened on the show.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't like that Kelly and Matt never really talked about the blame game they played with each other after Andy's death. I've always thought they should have a heart to heart. Sometimes it takes dire circumstances for something like that to happen. Hope you enjoy.**

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The activity above the two lieutenants was a nonstop, frenetic scurry of people joining together, united in their mission of saving lives, not letting terrorists win out.

While emergency responders and regular civilians were helping the injured, Voight and his team were on the trail of a terrorist. They'd gotten a good description from Jason, the man Casey and Kelly saved. Turned out he saw a definite suspect...Voight had his computer nerd, Jin, checking every camera in the area to ID the guy. It was only a matter of time, a matter of time.

"Erin, there's nothin' you can do here. I need you," Voight said softly, or as softly as his raspy voice would allow. He wasn't trying to be cold hearted. Hell, he even liked Severide, but someone had fucked with his city, and he would not stand for that.

"You have this. Right?" he asked Boden who was hanging on every word of Casey, every word or sound from Kelly. The worry lining his face as he watched the small loader carry pile after pile to the side, digging deeper. Clarke barked out instructions...the trick was getting enough removed to free the men quickly but not cave everything in on them. The remaining house was also precariously standing upright, threatening to tumble down.

"Yes, go. Catch the assholes who did... all this," Boden said not caring who stayed, who left. His only thought on his two men below.

Erin couldn't pry herself away. She watched the commotion powerless to do anything. She couldn't hear Kelly, relying on Boden to say when he spoke, what he said, what Casey said. It wasn't a comfortable position for this woman used to taking charge, to acting, not sitting idly by.

She felt herself being pulled away by her partner, Jay.

"Boden will call you as soon as he's free. There's nothing you can do," he echoed Voight's words. He also feared what would be pulled from the house. He didn't want that vision to be what haunted Erin for years, for the rest of her life. In a strange way, he knew if this thing went bad, even Severide wouldn't want that to be the last picture of him burned into her memory.

She let herself be led from the scene, mirroring Jay's moves. He took off running, she ran one step behind. He questioned a witness, she tried to pipe in, tried to wrap her brain around what was going on in her city. There was a damn terrorist on the loose. Someone who wanted people dead. A killer.

She held her phone in her hand. If I don't let go of it, Kelly won't let go. He'll be okay, she thought. Boden called once to say they were still digging him out.

"Casey," Kelly whispered, his voice so low it didn't sound like the one Matt knew so well. The familiar Severide swagger found even in his words was gone. Stripped away by a ton of house.

"Yeah, bud," answered Matt shining the light in his friend's face, growing increasingly worried, no just plain scared with how he looked. The white of it, the eyes not opening at all.

"Kelly," he prompted.

"You know when Andy died?"

"Yeah, I know, Kelly. We don't need to talk about this now." Casey didn't like where this was going. He knew what it meant. "Please, Kelly."

"None of it was your fault. Was so pissed..." he took a couple of short breaths. "Mad. It was better to be mad at you and not And-y." On the last word, Kelly let out a sound that made Casey lose control. He had to get him out of there. Now.

"Jesus Christ, Boden! Do what you need to do! Now!" Casey was screaming thrashing his body from side to side in frustration. He tried moving the pile of bricks in front of him. If he could just reach Kelly, hold his hand, sit next to him, it would be okay.

"We're almost in. You two hang in there. That's an order." Boden yelled another command at Clarke. The firefighter ignored his chief, telling the driver of the loader to clear out. He and five men, none from 51, began removing the last of the collapse by hand.

"Kelly. I know this. We're past all this. You weren't responsible either. You know that, right?" Casey was pleading with his friend. Why the hell didn't I say this before, a month ago, a year ago? "Answer me. Kelly, answer me."

Casey's eyes were wide with a fear he'd felt only a few times before in his life...watching Andy enter that room, trying to revive Hallie in the ambulance. That terror deep in his heart made him feel like he was going to lose it, scream.

The sound of Kelly's voice helped Matt steady his own breathing. Keep it together, he told himself. He didn't bother turning the radio off when they were talking anymore. Boden would know how desperate things were by now.

"Shay...Sh-Shay," Kelly mumbled.

"It's me, Casey. I'm here with you. Shay's not down here."

"I know. You gotta tell her..." Kelly's voice broke again.

"I'm not telling her a damn thing. You can tell her yourself. You hear me?"

Kelly's lucid thoughts had long been replaced by the scattered images of a man losing a battle to stay alive. The pain he felt was gone, replaced by a numbness in his body. He somehow knew this was bad. He was so cold but tried to tell himself it was because he was in a T-shirt and sweats only.

"You cold, Casey?" he asked his friend.

Before Matt could answer, he saw some of the boards above him move. He saw light peak in, and he made out Clarke's face through a small slit. The pressure on his body was lessened, a pressure he hadn't realized was on him.

"Kelly! They're here! Clarke's getting us out."

There was no response, the din of shuffling wood, thrown bricks, and the whoops and hollering from Clarke the only sounds.

"He's here!" yelled Casey pulling himself out and pointing to the area right in front of him.

He saw Kelly's body appear from the depths of that house, a dusty, bloody mess. He looked like a mummy entombed for centuries, immobile, limp, covered in a white powder. The length of his leg all the way up to his hip crushed beneath concrete and a huge wooden beam. As Clarke and two men lifted off the last of it, a paramedic moved in with Casey nudged up next to him.

"Kelly!" Casey touched his friend's arm and felt him flinch, pull back.

"Don't touch him!" said the paramedic shortly. He needed help but knew none was coming. The only assistance, right in front of him. "Cut the pants," he instructed handing Matt a pair of scissors from his emergency bag.

Casey got to work, the job of helping Kelly would save him from complete panic rising in his gut.

The paramedic handed Matt an inflatable splint while he put pressure on Severide's crushed leg obviously causing pain...Kelly called out loudly. Casey wanted him to make some sound to show he was alive...not this sound.

Chief Boden stood by feeling utterly useless. He took a step forward with Clarke pulling him back again.

"Chief, we need to stay outta the way."

"I haven't called anyone yet...Shay. I need to let Shay know what's going on. Jesus, I've got to call Benny too."

"I'll call Shay and the rest of the guys." Clarke was on his phone to his blonde friend trying to stay calm and not worry her before they knew what they were dealing with. He underplayed it saying they'd gotten Kelly out, no breathing tube, his heart going strong.

"Meet us at Lakeshore," he said not wanting her to come to the scene before him...Kelly looking like a damn corpse. No, she would lose it if she saw the state of her best friend.

Matt put the air splint on Severide's badly damaged leg. Kelly's breathing was labored and he called out every time he felt a slight movement, whenever his hip jostled slightly. He was incoherent not knowing who was making everything hurt or what was happening all around him. The only thing he was aware of was that the pain was back, with a vengeance. The reprieve he had earlier was long gone, that numb cold encompassing his body was now replaced with a burning fire, running from his foot all the way up to his waist. He tried rolling to a side, a pair of hands forcing him flat on his back. He thrashed around a little, desperately seeking a position that hurt less. He knew he was screaming, but was powerless to stop it.

Boden and Casey had never seen Kelly like this. Even in the midst of his broken neck, at the absolute worst of it, he'd suffered in silence, never letting anyone know of the pain he faced. He ate those pills and swallowed the pain with them. There was no swallowing this. He was simply a victim they were fighting to save, a victim in a whole lotta hurt.

It took a considerable amount of time, but finally an ambulance was freed up, and Kelly was rushed to Lakeshore. The hospital was a mess, doctors and nurses running back and forth, so many casualties.

Casey was at Kelly's side, holding his friend's hand as he rode in the ambo. Boden showed up minutes after. Shay was next followed by Erin. Then the guys started trickling in. Clarke was later, detained when he stumbled upon another victim with no one else to help.

Shay kept asking Boden for details. He wasn't in the sharing mood. She interrogated Casey, but he was pretty tight lipped also.

"What did his leg look like?" she asked again.

Dawson rushed in saying she was working with her new team members at 5 along another stretch of the race path. She hadn't checked her phone in hours, really serving as paramedic and not firefighter. So many injured, so many like her friend who was now somewhere in the back.

"What happened, babe? Tell me how Kelly looked, what did his leg looked like?"

"Let's just wait for the doctor, Gabby. There's nothing Shay and you can do from out here," he answered wearily.

"We just wanna know what kind of condition he's in."

No you don't, thought Casey. Before he could answer, a doctor rushed out yelling Kelly's name. The family from 51 all stood up.

"We're waiting for an operating room to open up. It's giving us time to stabilize him. One should be free within an hour," the doctor started.

"An hour? Can't he be transferred somewhere else?" Shay asked tears welling up with nowhere to go but down her cheeks.

"I would not recommend moving him right now. He is in extreme critical condition. Your friend's leg, his hip has suffered extreme trauma. They are both literally crushed."

Casey knew this, Boden knew. They'd seen it, but hearing those words brought a new reality to it. One that couldn't be denied.

The doctor went on to talk about something called compartment syndrome, how the muscles were compressed, crushed, dying. About bone fragments, reconstructive surgery. He even mentioned a possible hip replacement.

"No, that's not for Severide. That's for someone who's eighty," chimed in Hermann, knowing his younger friend would never go for that.

"Unfortunately, it's for anyone who doesn't have a working hip…twenty two or seventy two, injuries don't discriminate. We're getting ahead of ourselves. To be honest, we don't even know if we're going to be able to save the leg at this point."

The silence in the room spoke volumes.

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**Luck seems to always be on Severide's side, but maybe it's just run out. **


	5. Chapter 5

**I know it's been a slow build up to the Erin/Severide moments we love, but I really wanted to set the scene/tragedy of the bombing in this one. Thanks for hanging in there! Also thanks for the reviews and follows...makes us fanfic writers happy. Hope you enjoy.**

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Erin was surrounded by people but felt alone, almost like she didn't belong in the cramped waiting room. These were Kelly's people, not really hers. Her team was on the hunt for a twenty five-year-old, apparently a home grown terrorist who'd spent some time in Syria and at an Al-Qaeda training facility. His computer was seized, and they all felt certain this was their guy. He'd searched every online source for making homemade bombs, settling on the pressure cooker variety. They were in a desperate search to catch the man before more Americans ended up dead.

Commotion was a buzz on the entire floor, but everyone from 51 was silent. The words of the doctor echoing in their minds. No one having a damn thing to say.

Hermann broke the silence.

"Well I'd say that's about the biggest load o' crap I ever heard. Severide ain't lettin' this asshole, terrorist bomber stop him. No, he's gonna be fine."

Shay nodded her head up and down, sniffling while tears flowed into a soaking wet Kleenex she pressed against her cheek. Dawson had an arm around her friend, smiling at her anytime she glanced her way. The smile hid the fear underneath. She knew Casey's silence meant it was bad. Kelly might not be fine.

"I'm going to have to agree with you," said Boden looking at the family around him, taking in the love from these men all directed at one of their own. It had to count for something. "There is no way that the Kelly Severide I know, that you know, is going to succumb to this."

Shay's glance caught Erin's eyes, and she knew instantly that they were feeling the same thing, caught in a moment in time together. They both had a love for this man that couldn't be touched or really felt in the identical way by anyone else in the room. Shay walked to the detective a little hesitantly.

They weren't close by any stretch. They respected the love each had for Kelly, but they weren't meeting for lunch, shopping on the weekends, sharing secrets.

"She's... okay," said Shay to Kelly a few months back. "I like her swagger and that voice is sexy as hell, but I don't know if she's 'the one' for you, Kel," she'd told her roommate.

"I don't know that either. Does anyone ever find 'the one' really?" he began thinking about both Renee's. "But, Shay, she's the one for now. Can you just deal with that? Help me out a little?" He looked at his best friend in frustration. It was hard enough tackling a relationship, but when the person you trusted more than anyone else wasn't behind it...well, that spelled doom in his mind.

That was a turning point. Shay made an effort from that moment on. Kelly hadn't said word one when she returned to Clarice to get her heart ripped out for the hundredth time. He'd supported her, loved her, been so kind to Clarice. She could do this. She called Erin anytime the house was having a family gathering, anytime they were all getting together, a barbecue, whatever.

Erin also tried to be more receptive to accepting what Shay was giving. She didn't know how to take a peace offering, a hand extended in friendship. She could barely wrap her brain around the love of her CPD family, but adding another one to the mix...it made her uncomfortable.

"Kelly, why can't we stay in for two days?" she asked as he showered before a big gathering at the Hermann's.

"It's Kenny's second birthday, Erin. He's my godson. I can't really miss it. I don't wanna miss it," Kelly said soaping up hurriedly.

"I'm sorry. I just had something else in mind," she said slipping into the shower.

"Whoa, I thought you were gettin' dressed not undressed," he said laughing and turning her around to lather her back. The way she liked so much, starting at the neck, working slowly down, down.

"Mmmmm," she said softly wishing they could be alone for the two days off like a little island, isolated from the real world.

"Hell, we might be a little late, but I'm not missin' it," Kelly insisted turning her back around kissing her on her delicate neck.

"Now you're talkin' lieutenant. My hero," she smiled taking in his beautiful face, blue eyes, crinkled a little with a smile that didn't fade even with the kisses. He groaned and protested every time she called him that, but he did like the way it was sort of a pet name. Erin Lindsay had a cute name for him. Tough cop. Cute name. Kinda funny, he thought.

They'd showed up a few minutes late facing the angry glare of Shay. Kelly showered Kenny with attention all night, giving Cindy and Christopher a little break from their youngest. Kelly followed the two year old around ready to catch him at the slightest bobble when he tried to run and keep up with his older brothers. Erin and Shay joined the game watching their guy toddle around after a toddler. They looked at each other, eyes meeting, thinking the same thing...he's gonna be a great father someday.

Now, their eyes locked again but with something much darker and somber underneath. The nagging thought that Kelly may never get the chance to be a father, to hold Kenny again, to hold either woman one more time.

Shay put her arm around the detective with Erin able to accept it. Fully. She hugged Shay back with her whole body. They clung to each other, both crying now.

Doctor Montgomery arrived five long hours later. He was tired, cranky really, and just wanted to go home. He expected accolades and maybe even applause with what he'd just accomplished.

"He made it through the surgery," he started. Hell, the idea that he wasn't going to "make it" hadn't entered their minds. Was that even a damn possibility, thought Casey looking at Shay and Erin.

"And we saved the leg."

Everyone let out a collective sigh with Mills high fiving Clarke. Smiles were on all the faces with Hermann declaring he was practically a psychic.

"I hate to say I told ya so, but I told ya so," he said loudly. "Yeah, the Long Island medium's got nuthin' on me."

"Oh yeah, we know how intuitive you are. And humble," said Mouch with raised eyebrows with everyone laughing a little, tension dissipating.

"When can we see him?" asked Erin tears flowing now with relief, Shay joining her. The women were holding hands, their grip tightening a little with the good news.

"Mr. Severide is in critical condition. I think it's best that we keep him heavily sedated and you all come back tomorrow. This is the first step in a long journey ahead," continued Dr. Montgomery. "It's a great first step, don't get me wrong, but there will be more surgeries ahead."

"But you are expecting a full recovery now, correct?" asked chief. There really was no other option.

"Let's address that tomorrow when Mr. Severide wakes up," began the doctor in his condescending tone they were trying to ignore.

"_Lieutenant_," boomed Chief Boden.

"Pardon me?" asked Dr. Montgomery known as Monty to his colleagues and friends.

"It's _Lieutenant_ Severide. He's leader of squad. He's one of the best firefighters I've ever had the pleasure to work with. He's one of the best men I've had the privilege..." Boden's voice broke and he was forced to stop.

The men were so quiet it felt like they could hear chief's heartbeat.

"I'm sorry," said the doctor. "I forget that you've been through hell. That you woke up this morning like me, thinking it was going to be a great day and then all this. Our city, under attack, your friend..." Monty had to stop.

"I'll let you go in to take a quick look at Lieutenant Severide. Then everyone's heading home. You're going to need your strength for the days ahead. Can we agree on this plan?" Monty had done surgery after surgery. They were all stringing together, each patient a faceless victim with something needing fixing. That wasn't the way medicine was supposed to be. A bomber had done all this.

"We can live with that," said Boden shaking the doctor's hand. "Who's up first?" he asked turning to his crew.

Matt raised his hand smiling at his men, at Shay and Erin. He needed to make sure Kelly was alive. Not that he doubted Dr. Montgomery, he needed to see that the Severide scooped from under the house was breathing.

Erin was being as patient as she could. Shay said they were going in last and she nodded knowing that they would have longer, they'd have to be kicked out.

Casey walked to the small hospital bed with Gabby holding his hand tightly. They both drew in a sharp breath seeing Kelly looking as white as their dress uniforms. Gabby was stunned to see the change in her friend from what she saw the night before. He always had a healthy glow, looking like one of those guys who spray tanned. He'd scoffed when Shay and Dawson teased him about it. He was outside constantly, running, fixing boats...if the weather was promising, he was in it.

"What the hell is a spray tan?" he'd asked knowing he was the brunt of some joke. "Yeah, the day I do that you can officially have my man card, Shay."

Matt and Gabby went to opposite sides, the beeping of machines the only sound in the quiet room. Casey was a little surprised when his girlfriend's hand went to Kelly's head smoothing back his short hair. He knew they'd gotten close with her training, confirmation coming in the way she was looking at him now.

He touched Kelly's hand. "You're waking up tomorrow and we're going to have a long talk about rushing into buildings without backup. Okay?"

The men saw the huge smile spreading across Casey's face as he walked toward them. That was more reassurance than any doctor could give. Boden popped in for a minute to whisper some encouraging words to his lieutenant...the rest of the guys would wait until tomorrow. Erin and Shay would not.

"Shay, now don't suffocate him with all your motherin'," teased Hermann, with her extending a not so nice finger in reply. "Take it easy on him too detective," the firefighter continued not knowing when to stop. Erin used the Shay reply and all the guys chuckled shaking their heads, feeling like it might be alright.

That night was a restless, sleepless, molasses-slow turning of hours with two women trying not to wake up their injured man, heeding the doctor's wishes to let him rest. The urge to rouse him, see those eyes open, hear that voice say he was fine, was an urge they almost fulfilled. But they didn't.

The morning came with Monty making his rounds.

"Did he wake up at all last night?" asked the doctor knowing they'd spent the night.

"No. Slept all night. Seemed peaceful," answered Shay wiping her eyes, wishing for a cup of coffee.

"What do you say we wake him up?" Monty dialed down the morphine. "Now we wait."

A watched pot never boils. Apparently a watched patient doesn't wake up.

"Ladies, go get some coffee, a little breakfast, and I bet he's fully awake by the time you get back."

Erin and Shay took off to the cafeteria not wanting to leave, knowing that the minute they got in that elevator Kelly would come to with some stranger in his room, confused, maybe scared.

"Let's make this quick," said Erin.

"Yeah, coffee. To go."

Of course, Kelly chose to join the land of the conscious as soon as they left with no familiar face in the room. He was confused...the last thing he remembered was talking to Casey in the dark, under the house.

"Lieutenant. Glad to see you've joined us. You're in the hospital. Do you remember what happened to you?"

Kelly nodded his head. His eyes were trying to push themselves shut and his leg was throbbing, feeling like it was on the edge of turning into something far worse. Summoning a voice was not happening at that second.

"Your leg was badly damaged, but we managed to save it."

Kelly felt his breathing pick up. He almost lost his leg? What the hell... He looked down trying to see it, prove to himself it was still attached. A white sheet covered his body. He moved his uninjured arm to feel his wounded limb. A mix of relief and pain shot through his body. Hurt like hell, but that was a good thing he decided. It also helped him become more aware and lucid.

Monty didn't have time to waste...so many victims, all with families waiting to hear from him. He didn't want to go over options with the lieutenant without his family there, but these weren't ideal times.

Kelly felt like he'd been toppled by another house by the time the doctor left his room.

Maybe no limp someday, too early to think about running, returning to a desk job, a chance of light duty, more surgeries. Yes, he'd been crushed by another house, a house named Monty.

When Erin and Shay made their way to Kelly's floor, they were stopped by a nurse on duty.

"Mr. Severide has asked for no visitors."

"He's awake? What?" Shay rushed in the direction of his room with Erin on her heels.

"Doctor Montgomery just left, and Mr. Severide requested no visitors. Under ANY circumstances." The heavyset nurse blocked the door.

Oh, you're gonna need a lot more than one nurse to stop me, thought Detective Lindsay meeting the woman's scowl.

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**I pity the nurse right now. Can you imagine Erin and Shay being denied entry to his room?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for all the reviews and follows! Fun to get your take on all this. Okay, Erin and Kelly had their first kiss on CPD, and I loved it! So cute and her dimples were priceless. I hope Linseride is on. I'm trying not to get my hopes up because CF has disappointed me so this season.**

**On to my story...thanks for sticking with it. I know, I know, it's heavy right now. Sorry, but I'm not brushing past injury in 30 seconds like the show sometimes does. Happy times will come in chapters to come. Kelly's turning a corner in this update. Hope you enjoy!**

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Erin brushed past the nurse thinking you've gotta be kidding me.

A huge smile spread across her face when she saw Kelly awake, eyes open, looking a little less pale...maybe wishful thinking.

"You're awake. Kelly..." she rushed to his side, softly touching his forehead, placing her lips on his cheek.

He turned his face away.

"Just go," he whispered.

"Kelly, thank God," said Shay shuffling past the exasperated nurse making her way to the other side of her best friend's bed.

"Both of you. Get the hell out," he said louder closing his eyes tightly.

High pitched beeping rang out with both women looking at the nurse for help now.

"You heard him. Get the hell out! Let me do my job," the nurse shouted pushing Erin out of the way to give Kelly an extra dose of morphine, try to get the heart rate down. He does not need this right now, she thought. She'd heard the doctor. It was so much to take in. Too much. At least for now.

Kelly wouldn't see anyone the rest of that day or the next or the day after. He barely spoke to Dr, Montgomery and when Benny arrived, his son didn't acknowledge he was in the room.

"He's obviously having a hard time accepting what's happened. Hasn't accepted it. He will. He'll have to." Monty explained to a bewildered and desperate dad.

Benny took over the decision making in Kelly's healthcare, agreeing to another surgery where an orthopedic surgeon would affix two steel rods, permanently. It tore at Benny's heart to see his son so weak, so broken...and so desolate. Dammit, you're a fighter.

The hip was addressed next. The orthopedic talked about a grade four fracture...pinning it was useless. He'd have to perform a hemiarthroplasty or partial hip replacement.

"I'm the damn one who should be gettin' the hip replacement. Not my son," Benny's eyes watered over. Kelly didn't say a word.

"Actually, this procedure is most common with injury. Full replacement is usually done on the elderly with degenerative arthritis."

Kelly heard a bunch of gibberish, letting the words flood together in an unrecognizable sound that didn't resemble the English language. Better that way.

Do whatever to me, he thought. Doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Why the hell didn't they just let that house keep me, swallow me up and not spit me out?

What kind of man will I be? No squad...limping around like a damn invalid. No woman in her right mind...sure as hell not a woman like Erin. She deserved a helluva lot more than playing nurse maid to half a man. Hell, who knows if I'll even be able to...

Kelly let the demons in his mind take over. The pain, the morphine, all making lucid thoughts impossible.

The latest surgery went as well as could be expected. Kelly felt more like a piece of meat...just carve away he thought bitterly. He saw each new surgery as another part of his old self being taken away...not as a step in fixing his shattered leg and hip.

Benny split his time between Beth and the kids and Kelly's bedside. He was putting forth an effort to make amends for so many things and was stretched to the limit. When he was away, Shay took over. She was the only other one he would semi-respond to.

"Kelly, you can start physical therapy on Monday. This is good news!" Shay tried again to get through that thick skull. C'mon, she thought, this is not you.

Erin was at a loss. She sat by her boyfriend's side, trying to stay positive, trying to comfort, to love. But it was like talking to a brick wall. She was shut out. She couldn't get through.

She turned to the thing that had been her life for so many years...the job. The security blanket that saw her through so many lonely nights. Catching the terrorist became her obsession. And Voight's. He was glad to have the company in his single desire to take down a terrorist who'd messed with his city.

"How's your guy?" asked Voight hesitantly, knowing Erin didn't mention the fireman anymore, always available for a run to follow up on another lead.

"My guy? I don't really know. Haven't been by in, uh, three, four days."

"And why's that, Linds?"

"I think he needs some time."

"It's been weeks. I'd call that time. Is he out of Lakeshore yet?"

"Are we gonna share feelings all day or can we call this session over?"

"You got it," said Hank more worried about his detective than ever.

Jeff Clarke was sick of being the fill-in lieutenant of squad. He was sick of all the "poor Kelly" talk at the firehouse. Shay mopin' around like someone had died. Casey talking to an immobile lump of what was left of squad's boss, never getting mad, keeping it positive. Trying to break through with that sunny disposition. Gabby taking dish after dish to Lakeshore only to have it ignored.

This shit is comin' to an end. Today.

Clarke strode into Kelly's room, opening the blinds noisily.

"Hey, Severide!" he said too loudly for the hushed hospital. "We're takin' a little road trip today. I'm sure you're ready to get the hell outta this place," he said, fake smile affixed on his face.

Kelly's eyes opened a little wider, not knowing how to respond. When Clarke came to his bedside and removed his IVs, he knew this guy meant business. When Jeff pulled a T-shirt over his head roughly, he knew he was about to be taken out of this room.

"What the hell?" yelled Kelly in a voice he hadn't used in four weeks, loud, angry.

"My thoughts exactly," replied Clarke, that same crazy smile plastered on his face.

"I can't leave. They won't let you take me out of here."

"They? They? Who do ya think is stoppin' me?"

Clarke pulled sweats on his friend noticing the wince when he slipped the injured leg in. He knew Kelly was supposed to be up moving the damn thing. This'll probably help it, he rationalized.

He picked him up in one quick swoop, depositing him in a wheelchair he "borrowed" on his way up. Then he wheeled it straight out of the room, out of the hospital.

There was a rush of "what are you doing" and "stop" called his way, but Clarke just a kept on going. He picked up Kelly depositing him in the front seat, folded up the chair, throwing it in the trunk. They were gone.

"Where the hell are we going? I can't be out...out of there. We need to go back!"

"Why? Because you love it here so much? No, you need a field trip, so shut your mouth and just sit there. That's what you're good at now, right?"

They pulled up on a run down rec center, parking lot full, and Kelly figured Clarke was going to make him do some rehab, try to get him walk or something. Good luck, he thought.

Jeff wheeled his lieutenant inside, and Kelly knew he couldn't have been more wrong.

"Get me outta here," he demanded, feeling like he'd been slapped in the face. "Get me outta here now," he repeated.

"No can do." Clarke wheeled him in further to check out all of the action.

The rec center was loud, cheering, yelling throughout. One side had men and women sitting on the floor, a net in between two teams...a paraplegic volleyball match going strong.

The other side was set up for basketball, wheelchairs spinning around, men swatting at the ball, at each other...trying to get that ball in the hoop.

Kelly saw men and women, all shapes and sizes playing on both sides. Some had missing legs, others had their limbs, but they remained immobile. The rest of their bodies were anything but immobile.

Severide looked past the disabilities and started getting into the matches, the basketball piquing his interest.

He found himself involuntarily routing for the red team, definitely older than the other. Most of the men in their thirties, forties, some beyond. The other side was made up of young punks probably in their twenties.

Jesus, twenty and missing two legs, thought Kelly. He couldn't believe how fast they were. Turning his attention to the volleyball, he knew some of those men and women were moving twice the speed of one Mouch.

When the matches were over, Clarke started with the introductions...hell, he seemed to know half the gym.

Kelly had to smile, to be polite. He couldn't ignore these men and women who'd just poured everything they had into the competition. He grinned, shook hands, talked a little...felt so weird to have some semblance of normality after lying on his back, sullen for four weeks.

"Sorry to break up the party, but I gotta get you back," said Clarke reading the five texts from Shay, three from Casey, and one thrown in from Dawson. Shit.

Kelly didn't want to leave. These guys were amazing, bullshitting...no mention of their missing or not working parts, no one saying the word disability.

They didn't speak on the drive back. Both men deep in thought.

Clarke wheeled Kelly in his room to the waiting Shay and Dr. Montgomery.

"Where the hell did you go?" yelled Shay as she rushed to Kelly's side.

"You should check with me before springin' him next time," commented Monty helping his patient back into bed, reattaching IVs and monitors.

"He's okay, right?" asked Clarke.

"I'll get back to you."

Shay and Clarke drank a cup of coffee in silence before the doctor came out, the only sounds, deep sighs from a pissed off blonde.

"He wants to see you. Alone." Monty pointed at Jeff.

A stunned Shay was left alone.

Clarke walked in slowly not looking forward to the verbal slap down he anticipated, maybe firing.

"Sit," ordered Kelly.

"You okay?" asked Clarke sitting in the chair by the bed.

"Better now. Clarke..."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." Kelly planned to say more but choked back the words. One hand running through his hair and back down his face, taking in a deep breath, trying to get control.

Those men and women had lost so much. He had both legs, both arms. A body intact.

I'm through playin' the victim, he thought.

Shay walked in the room, straight to him, wrapping those arms around as much of him as they could hold. Those familiar arms, the hug he knew would always be there. Her head buried in his shoulder, the warmth of her body pressing in his, her hot tears on his skin...he had needed this. He knew he should have accepted this weeks ago.

She pulled away slightly looking in his eyes. Blue meeting blue.

"You're gonna be alright, Kel."

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**So Clarke to the rescue. I figured he would know wounded warriors who could make a difference to Kelly. Also, he's not the type to coddle anyone, so logical choice to make a breakthrough. Shay will always be there, so had to include her at the end. Haha! Now, where's Erin? Hmmm...can they make it back to each other? Thoughts?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for the amazing reviews! Yes, I love Clarke too. Okay, don't be too mad at this update - hahaha! As old Will said, "The course of true love never did run smooth." How boring if it was smooth sailing, so I hope you enjoy. Also, try not to kill Erin with your thoughts.**

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Physical therapy is a bitch, a mean, cold hearted, take no prisoners bitch. Kelly knew this the first day he took that first step to recovery. This day will be the hardest, he told himself. First one always is. Turns out the second day wasn't any better.

On that next day, he let himself take a good look at what he was left with. Been in here over a damn month and I haven't even touched the thing, let alone really look at it.

The physical therapist took him through his light exercises, encouraging in an irritating way, and left. He figured he'd have about thirty minutes before a nurse, Monty, someone else would come shuffling in. Never a moment alone in here.

He drew back the thin sheet and was met with the hospital gown. He was still in a damn "gown." Yeah, he'd need to get Shay to bring some clothes. Kelly wished Clarke hadn't taken back the T-shirt and sweats he'd shoved him into the day he pretty much saved his life.

Pulling back on the gown, he saw something that couldn't be a part of him. Looked more like one of those dead branches you trim away in winter. Those good for nothing, shriveled, gray, branches that can be used for what? Firewood.

Monty's words echoed in his brain, "Trust me. It'll come back around. It's atrophied right now, but it'll bounce back."

Kelly never looked at it. Until now.

Didn't look like it was gonna be bouncing anywhere anytime soon.

Push bad thoughts away, he told himself. He began touching it from the upper thigh down, surprised at how much it hurt, still. Own damn fault, he told himself letting some of the negativity seep in.

That was almost two weeks ago, and he'd made so much progress. He'd put his head down and done the work. Just like when he first set out to be a firefighter, when he set his sights on squad.

"No matter what, you gotta push through. When you think you can't take any more, you do more. When you think you're done, you go on." The words of his new friend, Manny Zamora, popped into his brain.

Manuel Zamora, a lieutenant in the Marines, one of Clarke's best friends had taken a liking to Kelly when he visited the rec center. He saw the look in Severide's eyes and recognized something in it. His own look when both his legs were blown off four years prior in Afghanistan. It had take him a good year to deal. Now, he would pay it forward and help this guy deal.

He came by whenever Clarke stopped to visit and often stayed after the fireman left. He ended up telling his story, one of losing everything before getting so much back.

When he returned to the States, devastatingly injured, his wife had left him, his mom was sick with what would turn out to be cancer, and physically, he was half the man he'd been when he left.

His redemption story read like something in a cheesy Lifetime movie. But it was all true. The guy was now the picture of health, happy, beautiful wife, and adorable baby girl. You couldn't even tell two prosthetics were beneath the jeans he always wore when he visited Kelly.

Severide promised himself he wouldn't bitch and moan ever again. He had both legs...still attached. Monty again said his injured one would get to working, soon.

The anti-bitching vow lasted about an hour. Trying to get to the bathroom wasn't easy and there was no way he was makin' life simpler by wheeling around in that chair.

"Dammit!" he yelled to an empty room as he grabbed into the wall to stop from falling. He wasn't sure if he should fling himself forward toward the bathroom or crawl back to the bed and call for a nurse. He decided to just hang out there for a second.

Erin Lindsay walked in the room nervously...been so long. Two weeks since she'd seen Kelly and so much had happened. They'd caught and killed a terrorist, Jay was hurt in the shoot out, Voight was being investigated by IA, again, and Antonio was pissed at her for some reason.

She almost dropped to the floor seeing Kelly up, trying to grip the wall, looking twenty times better than the last time she'd seen him.

"Kelly, what're you doing? Which way?" she asked putting his arm around her.

"Thanks. The bathroom," he said hoping he could at least pee without someone's help. Finishing quickly, he put the lid to the seat down and plopped on it. He was catching his breath and avoiding going out there to face his girlfriend. Ex girlfriend?

How long had it been? He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her.

Kelly took a deep breath and headed to the waiting detective. Erin was standing in the middle of the room. She rushed to his side, again draping his arm around her. He made it back to the bed and got himself on it.

"You look so much better, Kelly." Erin looked him up and down noticing the sweats, T-shirt, the color in his face, maybe put on some of the lost weight.

"Yeah, I'm doing better. I was gonna call, but..." Kelly started wishing he could get up and sit right next to Erin.

"No, it's okay. I'm glad you're better. It's been a hell of a two weeks."

So it'd been two weeks since she visited me, he thought. Sounded about right.

"I wanted to get around a little better and surprise you," he continued.

"Well, that would've been a surprise. A big surprise. You didn't talk to me for a month, Kelly."

Silence.

He took a deep breath. "I know, and I'm sorry. I wasn't myself, I was...I was...I don't know, a stupid ass."

Erin didn't touch the last comment.

"Like I said it's been a busy two weeks. We caught the guy, the terrorist. We found him holed up in a storage shed. Shoot out? Does any of this sound familiar? The news?"

Kelly hadn't turned on the news since before his injury. Honestly, he hadn't given one thought to the terrorist. I'm a selfish son-of-a-bitch, he thought shaking his head.

"Well, Jay was shot. He's okay, a clean shot in the shoulder, but I've been helping out..."

"You've been taking care of Jay?" asked Kelly squinting his eyes, knowing he just heard that wrong.

"Not taking care of him. Helping out really. You know his parents moved to Florida, so he's got no one..."

"Staying at his place? That kind of helping out?"

"Just for a couple of days. He can get around now on his own..."

"Thank God, he can get around now! I'll be able to sleep so much better tonight. Thanks for the update!"

"You are mad at ME? ME? This is incredible!" Erin was standing now towering over Kelly.

He hated that damn bed more than ever. He felt like a zoo animal with everyone always gathered around it, looking in at him, watching his every move. He tried to push himself up a little.

"I knew there was somethin' between you two. I knew it. And now you're playin' house with him?"

"Oh my God, you are out of your mind! I think that house landed on your head! You haven't spoken to me in a month! YOU shut me out. Remember?" Erin was screaming in Kelly's face, seriously thinking about slapping it.

Shay could hear yelling all the way down the hall. She picked up the pace praying silently. Crap. Please be okay, Kelly...

A group of three nurses was gathered outside Kelly's room, listening, contemplating going in. She pushed past them.

"What the hell is going on? I can hear you down the hall!"

"Apparently, Kelly's doing better. Did you know that? Of course YOU know that because you know everything about Kelly. Ugh! He's impossible!" Erin's voice cracked on "impossible" and she knew she was running out of time.

No way in hell this asshole is going to see me cry. I am not giving him the satisfaction... She ran out of the room past the gawking nurses, to the elevator, pushing "Ground" three times furiously. Click, click, click.

When the door finally shut, she let herself go. Dropping to the floor, face in her hands, Erin felt the pressures of the month boil over. Sobs ripped from her chest and she let out an actual scream before the elevator dropped to its destination. She scurried up and out leaving a sea of onlookers to wonder what was going on.

The last thing Kelly wanted was all of this. The conversation did not go as planned. Well, there'd been no plan. He didn't envision bringing Erin to tears. If she'd cried in his room, he would've lost it himself. Instead, he was losing it in another way.

He cursed out their fight, re-telling all that he remembered to Shay, leg hurting like hell.

"She hasn't been comin' around because she's been playin' nursemaid to JAY!"

"Kel, calm down. Please!"

"I am so pissed! I just wanna hit something! Anything!"

Shay had both hands on her best friend, pushing against him, making him stay down. The nurses joined her, one giving him a light sedative.

"Sssshhhh," she whispered, smoothing his hair back, stroking his forehead.

Kelly felt like he was in a light fog, the drug didn't knock him out...it was just enough to take the edge off.

"You know she hasn't come in two weeks?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Why?" he knew the answer, the authentic answer. He needed someone else to say it.

"Kelly."

Shay didn't want to utter one word. She didn't want to tell him the truth. She wished the last month away, but it wouldn't disappear.

"I love you. You know that?"

He nodded.

"Kelly, you pushed her away. You wouldn't talk to her. She was here every day at first. Then every few days. Then... less."

The nurses were gathered around acting busy, checking readings, all in an effort to hear what would come next. This was more drama than their favorite shows.

"I pushed you away too, but you always came back."

Shay had no answer.

"I wouldn't have left her." Kelly closed his eyes. "Not for one minute."

One of the nurses let out a little sigh and another wiped away a tear. They'd gone from disliking the ass in 305 to becoming his personal cheering section. They felt as if they'd just met Kelly Severide in the past two weeks. And they liked him.

Shay hadn't stayed the night in quite some time. She did that night. She also texted Casey, asking him to drop by tomorrow. Another text to Clarke. Manny would come too, he said.

There was no way this was going to derail her best friend. No way. She would keep her mouth shut about Erin. She knew he held half the blame, more than half. Funny thing though, when it's my best friend, I'm always taking Kelly's side, always.

Erin sat in her car crying. I'm done, she thought. I don't need this shit. Better to feel nothing, nothing at all. Her phone was vibrating, another call from Jay. He knew she was seeing Severide and wanted to know what happened, make sure she was okay.

"Hey," she answered.

"I'm headin' over," he said hearing it all in her one word.

"Yes," she whispered.

You have your Shay, she thought, picturing Kelly. I have my Jay, my partner. He gets me. He knows what I need. He doesn't infuriate me to no end. He doesn't drive me crazy. He doesn't make me scream at him.

"Yes, come over."

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**What do you think? There are a lot of Lindstead lovers out there, but I'm Linseride all the way. It's about to hit the fan...even harder. Hang on!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for all the reviews, kind comments, and follows! It means so much to know you are enjoying the story. I know it's hard to take, Erin and Kelly not together, some of you saying you can't take much more. Well, hang in for a bit longer. You know my stories…I'm all about the build up and the drama, but that's what makes the pay off so much sweeter.**

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When Clarke and Manny arrived bright and early, Shay took that as her cue to exit. She loved Clarke even though he was relatively new to 51. He was one of the good guys…even helping her through a desperately, dark period in her life. She was growing to feel the same about his best friend. She knew Kelly was in good hands.

"You boys cheer this one up," she said kissing Kelly on the cheek. "Or kick his ass."

They laughed with Kelly joining in, calm now, a good night's rest doing wonders. He'd already texted Erin to say he was sorry, could they talk, really talk with no yelling. No response yet. In truth, he wasn't completely sorry. He sensed that there was something more with Jay. He needed to hear it from Erin. Or have her deny it.

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Shay had her own plans...she was heading to the detective's apartment unbeknownst to the men in the hospital room.

She took a deep breath as she parked her car, thinking out exactly what she'd say. She wasn't going to be ugly, no tirade coming. She needed her own honest conversation with the brunette that Kelly obviously loved. If Erin was ultimately going to break Kelly's heart, Shay was putting an end to it now.

Making her way to Erin's door, she inhaled one more deep breath for courage. Jesus, the things I'll do for my best friend, she thought not looking forward to the "talk." He'd do the same for me.

She knocked two times. No answer. Give her a minute, she thought nervously, balling up her sweaty hands at her side. Two more knocks, louder this time.

She thought she heard a voice calling out. Finally, door being unlocked. Another deep breath. Relax your hands, look like you're gettin' in a damn fight, she thought.

All the air came rushing out of her lungs as she faced Jay Halstead, bare chested, wearing a pair of worn, gray sweats only, hanging loosely from his hips. Jay's eyes opened a little wider, but couldn't match the blue ones staring at him.

The air had been knocked out of Shay. This was the last thing she'd expected when she decided to drive over there.

Erin came rushing from the back, hair in a towel, wearing a T-shirt and panties. Nothing else.

The two women stood staring at each other. Shay turned around and quietly, slowly walked away trying to wrap her brain around the scene that had just unfolded before her eyes.

"Shit!" said Erin scrambling to throw on sweats and chase after the blonde. "Shit, shit, shit!" Erin fell to the ground as a foot got caught missing the opening. She raced out the door and easily reached Shay.

"Shay! Wait!"

Leslie turned around with disgust in her eyes.

"What? What could you possibly have to say?"

Erin didn't utter a word. She watched as Shay got in her car and sped off. So it was done. Officially over. Kelly and her no more? All they'd been through and this was how it ends?

Just over a month ago I was begging God to let him live. He looked half dead and so broken. I would've done anything. The bargains I made that day.

How much things could change in four weeks. Not for the better.

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Shay was met by an empty room. Kelly was downstairs in a rehab session, able to leave his room now for more challenging PT. Clarke stayed to cheer him on...they were both dripping wet when they made it back up. Manny had to get home, the baby running a slight fever.

"Hey, beautiful," said Clarke kissing her on the cheek. He immediately sensed her tension. "Walk me out?" he said quietly.

"Hey, good job today, man. You're gonna be back kicking my ass in no time." He patted Kelly on the back then gave him a quick, fake punch in the arm.

"What?" he asked Leslie when they reached the elevator.

Shay revealed all, not leaving out any of the details...Jay with no shirt, even adding the color of Erin's panties.

"No fucking way." Clarke shook his head in utter disbelief. "He is just turning it around." He continued shaking his head.

"What're we going to do?" asked Shay tearily.

"Not a damn thing. Let whatever happens, happen. He is not going to hear any of this from us."

It was decided.

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Kelly didn't get a return text from Erin that day. He didn't hear from her at all. Focusing all his energies on his rehab took the sting of the rejection away a little. He couldn't believe that their screaming match WAS the break up…no talking it out, no return visit to officially end it. Just over.

His progress was steady with the words of Dr. Montgomery being realized. The leg did bounce back...it looked like Kelly had a matching pair now. The injured one returning to the point where he could walk with just a slight limp.

The pain was another story. He expected it to go away, but it just kept coming back...an old acquaintance not wanting to leave. Kelly tried to stay off the prescription drugs but the burning from his hip all the way down his leg wouldn't let him. The days he tried to eat the pain away with ibuprofen or Tylenol were the days he could barely do his therapy. If he took the stronger stuff, he could push it to the limit. Monty assured him that he didn't need to fear the meds...they were an important part of his rehab.

"I'll cut you off when it's time," he said again, happy with Kelly's progress.

Monty sent him home with a few more months of rehab on the to-do list. The apartment overflowing with excited family celebrating their friend's return was a day Severide would not soon forget.

"It's about damn time," said Casey slapping him on the back.

Dawson threw her arms around him so tightly he wasn't sure she was ever lettin' go. Boden didn't say much all night, the emotion getting the better of him. Katie, Benny, all the guys from 51 made an appearance. Manny and his family getting to meet everyone for the first time. Looking around the apartment, Kelly thought these are the people I love, my family. Everyone I care about is in this room. He felt a tug at his heart knowing that was a lie. There was one person missing. She'd been gone for a while and Kelly wondered if he'd ever get used to it.

The return to 51 brought similar fanfare...everyone overjoyed and relieved to have their lieutenant back. He was on light duty indefinitely. The "indefinitely" pissed him off, but he knew he'd already come a hell of a long way. I'll get there. Gonna take more time, but I'll get there.

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"Molly's tonight?" asked Casey hopefully, those bright eyes with a pleading puppy dog look in them.

Kelly laughed at his friend. "Yeah, not for long though." He couldn't drink with the meds he was taking, so it kinda took the fun out of the bar. He knew the guys wanted him to go. Hell, what else do I have to do?

He hadn't seen Erin in months, hadn't talked to her, hadn't even gotten a text. Yeah, watching his friends drink a couple of beers would do him some good, he thought.

"Do you want to ride with Casey or me? Did you bring enough of everything for your next dose or should we go home first? Remember, you can't drink any alcohol." Shay fumbled around nervously trying to dig her keys out of her purse.

"Jesus, Shay do you wanna just take me in the ambo in case you need it? Were goin' to Molly's so I can watch you drink. No big deal."

She hooked her arm in his tightly. I guess I'm ridin' with her, he thought.

It was a big deal. "You haven't been out in months. I feel like we're going to prom," she laughed with him joining in.

"Casey! Help!" Kelly called as he was half forced into Shay's car.

Molly's was pretty much the same, in that familiar way that made you feel like it was an old friend welcoming you back...the same regulars, Hermann busting everyone's balls, Otis taking his job too seriously, and Dawson doing more socializing than serving. The only thing different was having to watch everyone else drink.

This is good…just what I needed. Being part of the mix, treated like he'd always been treated, not with kid gloves for the first time in months…like he wasn't a damn invalid.

"Thanks for makin' me come," he told Shay and Casey.

"Like I can ever make you do anything?" Casey knew Kelly needed this, feel like the same old part of the team.

Shay snorted but her eyes were drawn to the front of Molly's.

No, no, no, no. This is not happening. There is no way…

Walking through the front door was Erin Lindsay.

Antonio Dawson, Adam Ruzek, Kim Burgess…and Jay Halstead filing in behind her.

"Can we make this a 'no cops' zone? Can we just institute Molly's as a CPD free zone?" Shay was talking to no one and everyone at the table. She knew it would be futile to try to distract Kelly, to prevent him from seeing who just strolled in. No, better to get it out there. And for them to get the hell outta there.

"Let's go," said Casey before Shay could say the words. He got up throwing some money on the table.

Dawson already made her way to Jay.

"What the hell? You show up here to rub his nose in it? Why would you do this? You are unbelievable."

"Nice to see you too, Gabby. And your brother is the one who insisted we come here tonight." Jay headed to the bar to grab a beer and drink this disaster away. He'd seen Severide the second he walked through the door. It was what he had feared. You don't hit a man when he's down…part of some bro code built into his DNA.

"Gabby. I had no idea. I've been here how many times, and Kelly hasn't been here once. You said he can't drink. You told me that." Antonio had his hands up readying himself for a slap, a punch, something.

"Well, he's here, so you need to go. Why would you think any of us would want to see her in here? Ever."

"So this place ain't big enough for both of us? C'mon, we'll stay over on this side. We just busted a loser we've been after for three months. It's unrealistic to think they'll never run into each other. C'mon, Gabby." Antonio pleaded.

Erin positioned herself behind Ruzek and Burgess ready to back herself out of Molly's. She didn't see Kelly at first until Dawson zeroed in on her brother. She knew that fury could only be brought on by one thing…Kelly had to be there.

The first thought Severide had at seeing the beautiful detective…God, I've missed that face, that hair, that voice…that woman.

"Sit your ass down. We're not goin' anywhere." Kelly got up to talk to Erin and hopefully prevent a death…Antonio's.

"Dawson. Everything's fine. Let your brother get a damn beer. Antonio," Kelly held out his hand.

"Kelly, you look good, man. Glad you're back." Antonio shook his hand and gave him a quick pat on the back heading for a newly empty table.

Burgess had her arms folded in front of her with a "try to get past me, asshole" look on her face.

"Kim, Adam. Uh, make yourself at home," joked Kelly trying to get a good look at his ex girlfriend.

"You look great," said Burgess, huge dorky smile spreading across her face, arms dropped to her side now. She awkwardly slugged Kelly in the arm, not knowing what to do.

"We're gonna go sit with Antonio. Uh, if that's okay. And, uh, yeah, you look good." Ruzek grabbed Burgess' arm and led her around Severide to a nearby table where Antonio was sucking down a beer as if his life depended upon it. He could feel daggers, actually Gabby's eyes still on him.

Erin was literally abandoned. Standing in front of the man she loved, alone. Loved? Love?

God, she missed him. Seeing him…her only thought was to run into his arms, hug him, kiss him. Just hold him. Tears welling in her eyes, threatening with everything they had to run down her cheeks. She couldn't speak. She could barely breathe.

Kelly took a step closer. The look on her face so hard to read. He took another step…the only thing he wanted in the world at that moment was to have her in his arms. To grab her and bring her in to his chest. To feel her face on his, her hair in his fingertips…God, how long? He needed to feel her soft touch on his face, tell him everything would be alright, he would be alright, they would be alright.

Kelly took one more step closer, just inches separating the two.

"What did I miss?" asked Jay Halstead draping an arm around Erin, bottle of beer hanging from his hand, smile on his face. Bro code gone.

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**Oh boy, Jay. What are you up to? How will Erin react? You know I'm Team Linseride…that kiss on CPD, those dimples, that look in their eyes. Like Halstead, but love Severide. What do you think?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for the tremendous response – wow, so fun to read the reviews! Yes, I've tortured you long enough. Enjoy!**

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Kelly took two steps back, almost felt like he was pushed away, hard. So this is how it's gonna be? Jay in. Way in.

"Mind if we have a word?" asked Severide keeping his voice low, trying not to punch the asshole in the face. Feelings swept away with the entrance of the cop.

"Looks like you already had a word." Jay and his arm still wrapped around Erin not going anywhere.

Erin pulled that arm off her shoulder. "Give us a minute."

"You sure?"

"Give - us - a - minute." The icy stare left nothing to the imagination. Halstead took off toward his team, all eyes on the three. Now two.

"He takes orders pretty well."

"Kelly, can we get out of here?" Erin asked ignoring the dig. "Go somewhere. Talk?" Erin didn't want to walk away from this. It had been too easy to not respond to a text, a message. Regret had a way of eating at your soul; she was feelin' it now.

Ten years ago Severide would have told her to go to hell. Five years ago. Heck, one year ago. He couldn't form those words.

Instead, he said, "Yeah."

A quick wave off to Shay, whose eyes had never left her best friend. Erin didn't dare look in the direction of CPD's table. She led the way out of Molly's and to her car.

"Want me to drive?" she asked feeling nervous, as if she were meeting someone for the very first time on a blind date. Shake it off.

"Can't drive yet." Kelly slid into the passenger seat, a mix of emotions. Anger, how could she ignore him for all these months? But also, he had to admit…eagerness at getting a chance right now. A chance to say everything he wanted to, all that he'd pushed far away. The only audience to his pent up words, his mind, his thoughts. Enough to drive a guy crazy.

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She sped off to her brownstone in silence, the short drive taking what seemed an eternity. They walked up the steps slowly, Kelly lagging a little behind. She realized he wasn't one hundred percent…nowhere near it. Couldn't drive yet? Antonio hadn't mentioned that. He said the lieutenant was back at work.

They sat on her couch and Kelly spoke first, "You go ahead." Benny hadn't taught him much, but 'ladies first' was one thing.

"No, you start. Please."

"I don't really know where to begin…" Long pause. Deep breath.

"I wanted to say so much the day you walked off. I wanted to say I was sorry…I get crazy when I think of you…with Halstead. When you said you were takin' care of him, I just lost it."

"I know, Kelly. I'm sorry I didn't fight for us…I didn't fight you on making me stay away. I didn't know how much to push, so I didn't push at all."

"Yeah, I know. I wouldn't let you in. Feelin' so damn sorry for myself…that's the hardest part. That wasn't me."

"I shouldn't have listened to you. You wouldn't have listened to me."

"Shay says it's 'bull headed.' She calls me a 'stupid ass' at least once or twice a week." He laughed lightly, Erin cracking her first smile also.

"But, Erin. The thing I don't get is why didn't you call me back, text me, somethin? Did you ever wonder how I was doin? Anything?"

"God, Kelly, yes. I think about you every day. Antonio's been keeping me updated. He gets everything from Gabby and passes it to me."

"But why couldn't you talk to me. I called you how many times? You couldn't just pick up, tell me it was over. Let me say my peace? You say yours." Kelly couldn't avoid the elephant in the room any longer.

"I was so damn afraid to talk to you, Kelly. I was ashamed…I couldn't face you. I just couldn't…" Erin put her face in her hands, reliving the whole incident with Shay. That feeling of utter helplessness…of knowing nothing you could do or say would make any of it better.

"Ashamed? Afraid of me? What the hell, Erin? We had one screamin' match. It's kinda the way we do things." He'd expected her to say many things…those words not even comin' close to what he'd imagined. Afraid?

"I knew Shay had given you a play by play. I didn't want to go over all of it with you. I just wanted it to go away. I needed it to go away. I am so sorry…" The tears that had been threatening for so long finally made good on their threat, spilling down Erin's cheeks.

"Shay? What did Shay do? This whole thing's about Shay?" Kelly thought he was confused before, not understanding Erin's actions. Now, he knew he was completely in the dark.

As dumbfounded as he was, Erin was struck with a realization making everything crystal clear. Shay had never said a word. Not one goddamn word.

Lie. That was her first instinct…that survival of fight or flight. She wanted to choose flight. Instead, she settled on the truth.

She told him all that happened, replaying it in her mind. Jay spent the night, comforted her, kissed her, held her. Everything she needed, he gave.

Hit by a train. I had a house fall on me and now I've been hit by a damn train. That's how Kelly felt, air leaving his lungs, hands shaking, not believing the words out of Erin's mouth. It all made sense. Shay's face when she came back in his room. The way she looked at him. It was pity and now it all made perfect sense.

He got up and headed for the door. Done. I am fucking done, he thought. He hadn't been this blindsided since, when? Renee Whaley. His fiancée. His cheating fiancée. Just days before their wedding…their happily ever after. He didn't think he'd ever feel that way again, protecting his heart from it ever happening again.

Erin was up on her heels pleading with him to stop.

"What could you possibly say to me? What?!"

Those words of Shay's repeated now. This time Erin had an answer.

"Kelly, I love you. I miss you and I don't want to spend one more damn day without you in my life. Okay? That's it. If I could take back everything that's happened, I would. Your accident, me staying away… Jay."

That damn "I love you." How long since they'd said that to each other? Working through so much, just to have it come down to this. But there it was. Her husky voice saying those words he wanted to hear, needed to hear. And there they were…hanging in the air, all alone.

Kelly turned around and took the small brunette in his arms. He had no idea why. It went against every fiber of his being. Every macho bone in his body said to turn and run. He brought her in tighter, both arms encircling hers in a comfort and warmth she'd longed for and missed in a way she couldn't imagine ever getting used to…something in her torn away that would never be replaced or fixed.

Through all of the bullshit, the fighting…it all came down to one thing. Can I live without this woman? The answer was no. As much as he wanted to be "all good" without her, he wasn't.

"Kelly, I do love you. I've wanted this from the moment I walked out. I can't be without you. I can't. Please don't…" Erin's tears would not let up. She felt like she was holding on to this man for dear life.

Kelly still didn't say a word, just squeezing her in tighter, letting himself be held. He hadn't been touched by her in such a long time. He wanted this.

They held each other for the longest time. Not moving, afraid that any disturbance would bring them back to the reality of the situation and all hell could break loose.

Kelly was the first to pull back a little. He led Erin to her couch and held her hands in his, looking into those beautiful eyes, that face. His hand went instinctively to the back of her neck bringing her in, their lips touching softly at first. He brought her face in harder, the force of their lips almost bruising.

Erin pulled back now. She stood up in front of Kelly leading his face to her stomach. He let it rest on her, feeling safe for the first time in months. She reached for both of his hands and led him to her bedroom.

The familiar feel of her body, her every curve…felt familiar and new at the same time. The tenderness of her touch surprising him, her fingers brushing his face, his neck, down his chest. Her mouth following each touch.

Erin let herself be taken in completely. She'd never felt the passion and sense of wanting to give it all back as she did with this man.

Kelly felt the same. When Erin rolled off of him, settling into his shoulder, one leg draped over him, he knew he was right where he belonged. The feel of her on him all night gave him the best sleep he'd had in months.

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A bright ray of sun shone through the bedroom window landing on the sleeping couple. Kelly was hot and sweaty, Erin radiating enough heat for a third world country. He tried to kick off the covers but almost called out, the pain in his leg worse than he'd felt in weeks. Those little white pills. He needed one now. How many hours since his last one? His leg and hip screamed too damn long.

He slid himself off the bed quietly nearly dropping to the floor, biting back the curse trying to escape his lips. He hobbled to the bathroom knowing that the hot water would help. Why the hell didn't I bring my phone in here? Shay could be at Erin's doorstep in fifteen minutes depositing some relief in his hands. He could see that look on her face…he didn't need that right now. Dawson, Casey…maybe they would make the drop off. No, Shay wouldn't just hand 'em over; she'd head over. Didn't matter, phone was in the pocket of his jeans on the floor that could've been a mile away. Hot, hot shower his best option.

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Erin awoke to the sound of the shower…stretching slowly, a small smile spreading across her face. Kelly hadn't snuck off in the early morning regretting the night, his decision to give it another go. That was what they were doing, right? She got up heading to the kitchen…coffee and a big breakfast on her mind. Pancakes for one were no fun but watching the way Severide gobbled them up was better than eating the syrup laced discs herself. The knock at her door disturbing the zone she was in. Who would come calling this early on her day off? Her first thought scared her, angered her, and made her not want to answer. Jay.

Looking through the peephole, her tension lessened a little…just a touch. Leslie Shay nervously shifting from one foot to another, brushing a stray hair back behind her ear, eyes darting around, was on the other side. Jesus.

Erin opened the door wide bracing herself for an attack, hopefully just verbal.

"Hey, uh, is Kelly here?"

That was it? A "Can Kelly come out and play?" He must not have let her know he was staying the night; she was worried. That was all.

"Yes, in the shower. Come in. I'm making pancakes if you can stay," said Erin motioning for her to sit down at one of the dining room chairs.

"Uh, no, I've gotta run. I'm just gonna go back for a sec. Need to tell him something. That's all." Shay was a bundle of nerves, backing away to where she imagined the bedroom was.

"I already told him Shay. No lies. He knows everything."

"That's good. Yes. Umm, really good. But this is something else. Uh, I'll be right back." She rushed off to the back, hearing the water from the shower as she drew closer.

Weird. Those two. Just don't get it, thought Erin shaking her head. She's really going back to see Kelly in the shower?

Shay tried the door to the bathroom. Unlocked.

"Kelly," she whispered.

"Shay."

She pulled the curtain aside and found her roommate sitting in the tub hot water pounding down on him

"I can't get up." He'd dropped to the bottom of the tub a while back thankful that the water hadn't turned cold. He tried pulling himself up but his hip was on fire now joining his leg.

Shay popped out a pill from the packet she held in her hand putting it in Kelly's mouth. He slightly opened his mouth letting a little of the shower water in and swallowed hard knowing relief was on its way.

"What the hell were you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"Typical," she snorted reaching her arms out to help him up. "I should leave your ass down there."

"But you're not."

No, she helped him out drying him off and leading him to the bed. She found his pile of clothes from last night dumping them next to him. He lay down, strategically placing the towel. Shay laid down next to him.

"You gonna say I'm stupid, have my head up my ass?" he asked.

"Nope. I was gonna say I think you should call Monty. I don't think you should be in this much pain."

Fifteen minutes and Kelly could get dressed. Shay went out to help Erin with breakfast and let her know what was goin' on.

Kelly popped one more pill out and in his mouth.

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Shay decided to stay. When Kelly came out from the back, he looked like a new man. Smiling, not limping, smelling so clean…refreshed.

"Better?" Shay asked serving him a huge stack.

"All better," he smiled digging in. "Mmmmm, Dawson's got nothin' on these."

"I'm glad you like," said Erin kissing him on the cheek before grabbing the chair next to him. This felt good, so good. Everything missing in her life, back. The one thing missing, back.

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Kelly and Erin embarked on this second act of their relationship, things as good as before. No, better. Having been apart brought a new appreciation for each other. Their screaming matches not as frequent, but still popping up once in a while. Have to keep things interesting.

Shay was on board, her love for Kelly overpowering any lingering doubts about the commitment of the detective.

"So you okay with us back together?" he asked his best friend.

"It doesn't matter if I'm okay with it or not. But, yeah, I'm good with it."

"It does matter. I'm glad you get it." He kissed her on the forehead.

"I get it. I get you, Kel. Clarice married another guy, got pregnant with his child. I forgave her. Oh, I get it," she answered.

"I'm happy with her. And kinda miserable without her."

"You don't have to explain. She gives you something no one else can. That's why we stay with someone in the end."

"I think you know me better than anyone else," he said kissing her again on the forehead.

"Duh."

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"So what's goin' on with you and the fireman?" asked Jay after the night at Molly's. He knew the answer but needed to hear it from her.

"We're givin' it another go. I love him. He loves me. That's really it." Erin didn't want a heart to heart. This was her best friend, but awkward now because they'd entered the realm of seeing each other. They hadn't kept it professional.

"If he hurts you, he's dead."

"It's not like he dumped me, cheated on me. There were circumstances. You know." Erin looked at him smiling at the protectiveness. It did feel good knowing he would always have her back.

"Yeah, he's still dead if he hurts you." Jay returned the smile, and they were off to bust some bad guys.

"Jay."

"Huh?"

"Thanks." Erin realized she couldn't have hand-picked a better partner. Voight knew his stuff. They were more than compatible, but brother and sister was for the best. It was the way it would be left.

They went to dinner a couple of times after their night together, but never entered into a real relationship. Erin knew on some level if she had there would not be an opportunity to have a second chance with Kelly. She'd been holding out for that without consciously thinking about it.

Their night together was one of fulfilling a desperate need. She needed a friend more than lover. Someone to wipe her tears and listen to her cry. Someone to assure her that everything would be alright. He had done that and it'd made them even closer. They'd come as close as two people can to having sex without going through with it. Kelly hadn't asked for details; she didn't offer any.

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Coordinating schedules became a priority and easy to get in sync, with squad's lieutenant still on light duty.

"Joe's tonight?" asked Kelly thinking how long it had been since he'd been to their favorite place.

The beautiful couple entered the little restaurant, smiles all around. The owner and waitresses knew the firefighter had been injured, but not a word for months. It was good to see them back.

When Erin ordered her usual, Kelly knew she was the one. The one who did offer him something no one else could. The one he would not live without. As much of a pain in the ass that she was…she was his pain in the ass.

He laughed as she shoveled another forkful in her mouth.

"Mmmmm," she moaned for at least the tenth time. "Soo good," she mumbled mouth full.

He shook his head laughing watching her meat loaf disappear.

This gorgeous girl and her damn meat loaf.

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**What do you think? I really like them together, so you know I had to let them forgive each other. Sophia Bush is going to be on the ChiFi season finale, so...fingers crossed. Maybe we'll get some more Linseride.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks again for all the reviews! Glad you have strong feelings about this one. Here's a little happy Severide. Enjoy! You know things can't stay all unicorns and rainbows for long. Haha!**

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Erin knew she was the lucky one. Deep within her she had the feeling that she was the one who got the better end of the deal. Being with a man who always put her first…caring, almost to a fault. He didn't know how to be selfish. Plain and simple, Kelly put Erin, Katie, Shay, Casey, Benny, really everyone above himself. It was just the way he was built. Probably what made him such a good firefighter.

That's what motivated her to do something special for his birthday. She knew he was expecting nothing, never really did. Yes, this would be the birthday to show him and the world how much she loved him. He always said it was just another day, really more excited for hers. That would make it more surprising and special. She considered the birthday party he threw for her one of the best birthdays ever, THE best birthday…a highlight in her life. With a druggie mom and no dad in the picture, birthdays had never been "special." Hell, they weren't even remembered in her apartment. Mom too busy trying to score. They were days to forget along with the countless other days of her childhood.

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"So, Molly's or no Molly's?" Erin was not good at asking for help, but she also knew she'd need some to pull this off.

"Mmmm, I say yes to Molly's." Shay was more than willing to help spring a surprise party on her best friend. She'd been thinking about doing the same. He was so hurt, so close to never making it back. Shay wanted to do something to celebrate him coming out on the other side, to celebrate his recovery, to celebrate him.

She was also thrilled with Erin's dedication and…what was it? Devotion to Kelly? Seemed like such a strong word, but it fit. Shay had never seen the woman so attentive to him, so touchy feely. She was always a little stand offish, a little selfish…not so anymore. Maybe all the trials had a payoff. Whatever it was, it was a good thing. Kel, deserves this, she thought.

They decided on a combo plan of having Mills' mom cater with Dawson adding some of his favorite dishes and desserts.

The best part of all was that he didn't have a clue. He had even scheduled himself to be on shift. Boden was let in and had it all worked out. He got a little glimmer in his eye thinking about how he'd put on his Boden grump and tell his lieutenant he looked like crap, "go home." Casey would be conveniently getting off shift right then and suggest Molly's. Kelly would go because Erin would conveniently be on a stake out. Yes, the pieces were falling perfectly into place. He wouldn't suspect one damn thing.

The girls laughed at how easy it was to pull one over on him. Kelly would've thought this was the best part…two women he loved coming together. That would be the real birthday surprise for him.

Now, they just had to wait for the day to arrive. It was drivin' both of 'em crazy. Patience not running strong in these two.

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Monty had switched up Kelly's PT in an effort to alleviate some of the pain. It seemed to be somewhat working. Severide was allowed to join the guys on some of the easier runs. He was thrilled to be back in flames and smoke and hoses shooting out water. Erin said he was crazy, but it felt like home to him. And who doesn't want to be home?

Kelly had wrangled an extra packet of pain pills from Monty after his reunion night with Erin. That week he'd taken an extra pill here or there, telling himself it wasn't too much.

It wasn't like he was stealin' from his best friend, trading sex for drugs…those weren't his finest hours. These were prescribed…he just needed a little more once in a while.

When he called Monty the second time for an early refill, he was surprised there was no questioning, just a "sure, no problem."

At the pharmacy, he understood why. In his car, he greedily ripped the paper bag holding what was inside. What the hell? It was a little container, not the blister, pop out packet. Squinting to read the tiny print, Kelly said aloud "Tylenol 3." He read more of the information pamphlet that was tucked inside the bag and discovered it was acetaminophen with a little codeine. Stay calm, he told himself. He knew Tylenol and Ibuprofen didn't touch the pain, but maybe with the codeine, it would be okay. He took two and drove home, waiting for the familiar relief to flush over his hip and leg.

An hour later he was still waiting. An hour after that he was on the phone to Monty's office speaking to the answering service. Or rather yelling.

"What do you mean he's on a three day weekend?"

"I'm sorry. Yes, I'd appreciate it if you could call him. Thank you."

Kelly picked up on the first ring. He listened to Monty tell him it was time to get off the hard stuff. That he'd said he would cut him off, and he was doin' it now.

Time to come clean. The pain was pretty bad. How often? Often enough.

Monty said he was coming in on Monday for a full work up, MRI, blood work, everything he had scheduled for the appointment three weeks away.

"We'll get this thing figured out. You can alternate between the Tylenol 3 and Ibuprofen, but don't double up on the Tylenol. Hurts your liver, okay?"

That was it. Had to wait till Monday. I can do this. On shift, but not doing any real heavy lifting.

More than the shift was waiting for Kelly. The party at Molly's was a go.

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"You look like shit, lieutenant," Boden said not having to conjure up any real acting abilities. "Go home, rest. Come back in three days."

Kelly left chief's office, no mistaking that pissed off stride.

"Hey, how 'bout we go to Molly's and forget this place," said Casey smiling broadly, heading to the showers to quickly wash away the last run, a messy restaurant fire.

"Nah, gonna take Chief's suggestion and head home." Kelly had no grime to wash off. He grabbed his bag to head out.

"Wait up," said Casey feeling the pressure of getting his friend over to Molly's. He did not want to face the wrath of three women if he failed.

"I need more than a beer. It's Dawson. I need to get your read on something."

"You're askin' me for relationship advice? Since when?" Kelly was smiling now.

"Don't be a dick. Give me five, and we'll head out? I need this, buddy."

"Sure, any words of wisdom I can impart."

"Ass," Casey muttered just loud enough for Kelly to hear.

He texted Dawson, "Part one of Severide bday – a go."

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Molly's was full, everyone who loved Kelly Severide was there. All the guys from 51, Boden heading over as soon as his lieutenants left, Benny, with Beth in tow, and Katie who Shay picked up at the airport in the early morning. She wanted in on the cooking, so now there was enough food for an army.

Nathan came with his mom, the connection he had with the fireman would remain for the rest of Kelly's life. They'd shared something not many could claim, a night of hell where they both came out alive.

Georgie was there with a platter of cookies in hand. Kelly tried to keep a dinner date once a month with Peter's widow. He hadn't known the elderly gentleman long, but the conversation they had and the words of wisdom the man imparted would never be forgotten.

There was Cindy Hermann, the entire Mills clan, Clarke with Manny and his wife, along with a slew of other "wounded warriors," now friends, from the rec center. Kelly couldn't think of one other soul he wanted to see. They were all there.

The second he walked in, he knew he'd been set up. He immediately knew who to thank or blame. The two women with huge smiles across their faces. One blonde and one brunette, positioned at the bar right where they could see his every reaction.

Overwhelmed. And a little overtaken with emotion. I'm not cryin' at my damn birthday party, he thought, gaining control of that touch of wetness gathering at his eyes. He laughed at the loud "Surprise" that came out at different times, not in unison as he was sure they practiced.

He made his way through the crowd, more pats on the back than a celebrity, finally reaching his destination. Erin and Shay had the most satisfied, smug looks on their faces.

He reached out and pulled both in, one caught in each arm, pressing them to his chest. That damn emotion threatening again, so he buried his head in Erin's hair.

"You like?" she asked looking up into those blue eyes she loved.

"I love," he said knowing that he was the luckiest guy in the world.

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Kelly figured he could have a few drinks with the new meds. Monty would've disagreed, but he wasn't there, so…

"Having fun?" asked Shay, getting her roommate alone.

"Yeah. It's too much, but yeah." Kelly knew this was one of the best nights of his life.

"You know it was all Erin's idea," said Shay taking another big swig from her bottle of beer.

"I know she couldn't o' done all this without you." He had an arm around her shoulders. "I'm sure I don't say it enough, but you are the best, Shay."

"I know," she answered taking another gulp and nodding her head.

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After Kelly's accident, the terrorist attack…Katie had decided she needed a break from Chicago. Adding to all that, the Keeler incident and what could've happened, was a memory she wanted to forget. She was staying with relatives in Colorado, hoping to eventually move to New York. But she had to come back for this…her big bro's birthday. Her brother she loved more than anything.

"How's it goin' kid?" Kelly asked his sister who was sharing a table with Otis.

"Good, 'cept I've missed you like crazy." Katie hugged her brother. "How's your leg? Really, how is it?"

"Pretty good. Hurts like hell sometimes, but feels good tonight," he answered honestly raising his beer and smiling.

Otis got up to get another round.

"He's trained pretty well."

"Be nice," said Katie watching her boyfriend with stars in her eyes as he made his way to the bar.

"Sorry. I missed your early years. I didn't get to slam the door on your boyfriends, so I'm makin' up for it now."

That mischievous grin spread across his face making it impossible for Katie not to laugh.

"Be nice," she repeated.

"Always," Kelly answered, the grin getting one degree more devilish.

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He made his way to Clarke and Manny who looked like they were up to no good, conspiratorial whispers shared between the two.

"Alright, what's goin' on over here?" asked Kelly plopping down in the empty seat, Manny's wife saying her goodbyes a few minutes earlier.

"Nuthin, nuthin." Clarke's eyebrows rose up trying for an innocence he hadn't possessed since maybe twelve. Manny just laughed.

"Bullshit. Spill it." Kelly motioned for another beer.

"I didn't want to say anything tonight...it's your night."

"Because I'm into my birthday so much. Bullshit. Spill it."

"Hermann wasn't the only one to take the lieutenant's exam."

"Never mind. I don't wanna hear it." Kelly took a huge gulp of beer, smile on his face, knowing what was comin' next.

"I got 29."

"Damn. Congratulations," Kelly gave his friend a hug. "But I think you shoulda held out for 51, the rate I'm going she coulda been yours in a ..."

"Whoa, hold up," interrupted Manny. "Do you still have all your shit?"

"Whaddya mean 'have all my shit'?" asked Kelly confused.

"Did somethin get cut off we don't know about? Your legs, whatever?" Manny continued.

"You know I've got all my shit," answered Kelly still not getting it, but getting a little mad.

"Well, if you still have everything then why are you talkin' such total bullshit?" Point made.

"Just gettin frustrated. But we're not goin' into that tonight," said Kelly feeling no pain at the moment.

"Yeah, we are talkin' about it. You got both your legs, both your arms. I'd give my left nut for that, to get back with my unit. Not happenin. I've made the best of it. You don't have to." Manny was the one getting pissed now.

"You're right." Kelly thought of the appointment on Monday. Time to let Monty in in on everything, the pain.

"Damn straight I am."

"And I'm hanging out at 51 till they get their lieutenant back. Heard he's a real ass, but they need someone when I leave," said Clarke lightening the mood.

"But the new one's such an ass they can't wait till they get their old ass back," countered Kelly.

"It's a tie, so both of you shut up. Who's payin' for next round?"

Kelly and Clarke remained silent. Just following orders.

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They closed the bar down that night, past the 2:00 city mandate, with Hermann declaring, "Hell, we've already violated every fire code in the damn city with all the people crammed in here."

One big birthday present was given to Kelly at the end of the party. It was Clarke's idea and everyone agreed it was pure genius.

"Yeah, every once in a while, even this idiot comes up with one," commented Hermann with Cindy slugging him in the arm.

Kelly and Erin were saying their goodbyes.

"Lieutenant! I need you over here," called Chief Boden standing by the remnants of the huge birthday cake Katie had baked.

Severide positioned himself next to Boden waiting for whatever was to come. He figured it had something to do with busting his balls.

"You're a hard man to buy for. Instead of buying something, we settled on this." Boden handed Kelly a check.

"We're giving $2,750 in your name to the Chicago Wounded Warrior Fund."

A roar erupted from this group of friends, family, with all cheering loudly. Those emotions he'd kept in check all night came through.

When the whoops and hollers died down, Kelly held his hand up to say something.

"Thank you, all of you. This has been perfect," he wiped his hand across his face. "I couldn't have asked for a better group of crazies as my friends, my family. I love ya all."

The hollering began again. "I love you," Kelly whispered in Erin's ear as they made their way out of the bar.

Erin stopped and held his face in both her hands. "I love you so much," she said bringing him in for a long kiss.

More cheers started up with Hermann calling out, "Get a room, already."

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**Hope you liked all the family celebrating Severide in this one. So sad to see Clarke go, I had to put some more of him in this chapter. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you for all the reviews and favorites! All of us fanfic writers love getting them, so go review a story today and make a writer smile. :)**

**Glad you're still liking Linseride. Derek Haas has tweeted that there will be more in the final three episodes to come - exciting! At least to me, haha! Hope you enjoy this update.**

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Looking back on that night, many years later, Kelly would still count it as one of the best in his life. The next morning, now that was a different story.

He was feeling it, his leg and hip really feeling it. And Erin knew it.

He'd gone to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow...falling into a deep slumber, snoring lightly, out of it in a way Erin hadn't seen in so long. But as the morning wore on the slumber turned to a fitful rest, the cocktail combination of Tylenol 3 and booze wearing off. He'd come down from a pain free high and was hitting the wall hard.

At seven, Kelly was up, looking around Erin's bedroom, disoriented, not sure where he was, what was going on. He got his bearings and headed for the bathroom. His first step, or almost step had him on the floor, Erin at his side in seconds. She could sense him waking up and knew from his light groans that he was in bad shape.

"Let me help you," she said softly grabbing his arm, placing it over his shoulder.

"I'm good," he said trying to get there on his own.

"No, you're not."

The weekend was a long one, the couple waiting for his appointment with Monty. Erin tried to keep him comfortable, tried to find some position that would ease the burning in his hip and leg. She alternated the Tylenol with ibuprofen, but it simply was not enough.

The morning of the appointment came and she had to call Casey just to get him in the car.

"Jesus, he seemed fine at the party," said Matt the second he got her alone.

Erin had no answer. She hoped the doctor would have one.

Turns out the MRI revealed everything Monty needed to know.

"Well, it's no wonder you're in a world of hurt, son. That hip is pressing down on one of your nerves creating that radiating pain...all the way to your toes, right?"

Monty described going in to "tweak" the hip placement, alleviating the pressure, and hopefully the pain.

All Kelly heard was that he was havin' another surgery. He couldn't even call Boden, Erin had to.

He wanted to slip back to that dark place but no one was havin' it this time. Erin took a week off and Voight knew this was some kinda forever thing. She would never take off that much time unless a Caribbean vacation was involved.

Manny came by immediately and wouldn't let one bad thought slip in. He basically shamed Kelly into keeping a positive attitude.

"So nuthin's gettin cut off?" Manny asked, his baby daughter in his arms. She was squirming mercilessly and Kelly couldn't help but wonder how he kept a firm grip.

So we're back to the 'cut off' conversation, he thought wishing he could feel a little sorry for himself. He had no desire to go under the knife again. A little tweaking still meant being put under, scalpel cutting skin, and the worst part...recovery. Enough already. He'd had enough.

Shay, who'd temporarily moved into the second bedroom, was planning on helping Erin take care of Kelly for the next week. She snorted with laughter when Manny dumped the little one in Kelly's arms saying he had to go take a "p-i-s-s." Saying anything close to profanity was a no-no, so they all had to spell out what Manny would find objectionable for his little girl's ears.

The baby settled down immediately and started to doze off, eyes getting heavier and heavier.

"You have got to be s-h-i-t-t-i-n-g me," said Manny glaring at his little angel asleep on

Severide's chest, feeling a sense of irrational betrayal. "What are you? The damn baby whisperer?"

"D-a-m-n. You don't want her first word to be damn," reprimanded Shay, huge smile on her face.

"I'm leaving her for the night. Mama and I need some alone time." They all knew "alone time" was really code for sleep.

"Tell ya what. Once I get this thing fixed for real, I'll watch her overnight. It's the least I can do," Kelly whispered, not wanting to wake up the baby.

"We'll watch her," corrected Erin rubbing Kelly's head and smoothing back his hair.

She was putting on a brave face but probably dreading the surgery more than her man. How much more can he take, she thought. She hated seeing him like this. He was the strongest man she knew, she'd ever met. And having him weak and hurting was too much. Any other guy and she would have cut and run and never looked back. She'd tried, but couldn't stay away. No, I'm in it for the long haul, she thought, kissing Kelly on the forehead and gently touching the chubby cheek of Manny's beautiful daughter.

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The tweaking was just that...it was the shortest surgery Kelly'd ever had. He was out of recovery within an hour, started PT the next day.

"LookIn' good," said Manny coming by to check on his friend. "I'll be hittin' you up for Camp Severide before you know it."

The ex-Marine couldn't believe Kelly was already attacking his PT hard, the surgery obviously doing the trick.

"Little Isabella's never gonna wanna go back home after bein' spoiled rotten at Camp Kelly's."

"So it's Kelly, huh?"

"Yeah, Severide's a mouthful. Uncle Kelly's a h-e-l-l of a lot easier," the fireman laughed as he walked the length of his room again.

"Laugh it up a-s-s HOLE." We'll see who's laughing when she has your ass up all night, thought Manny, shit eatin' grin spreading across his face.

"You should think about havin' one of your own," he continued.

Manny caught Kelly as he stumbled a little heading back to his bed.

"Whoa. Just kidding, Severide. Erin hasn't said anything to mama about wanting kids...or being pregnant." Manny laughed out loud at the white that came over Kelly's face. "You better lay down...you're not lookIn so good." The one sided laughter continued.

"Who let you in here? Remind me why we're friends again?" Kelly sat on the edge of the bed sucking down a full glass of water, giving his buddy the death stare.

"Be nice to those of us who visit your sorry ass, even when you're only in here for two nights. Be patient, I think you'll be able to kick my ass in no time."

Kelly agreed.

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Dr. Monty was officially deemed a God...or maybe just a demigod by Kelly and Erin. The surgery did the trick and Kelly was relatively pain free.

The doc saw himself as anything but a deity. He was feeling a little like a failure.

"I should've seen this, known this. Feel like it's my fault you were sufferin' all these months." he said for the umpteenth time.

"Don't be ridiculous. You saved my life. I'm here today because of you. I never said anything." Kelly replied for the umpteenth time, sick of listening to his doc beat himself up.

"You are doin' great," Monty reluctantly gave in. "I like the way it's progressing." He was smiling now, looking at the increased range of motion, strength. He could see the lieutenant back on the job. For the first time since Severide was initially brought in barely breathing, he could see him back at 51, leading squad...no restrictions.

Kelly also let himself start to believe that it could happen. Before the goals were small... no limp, some running...but now? Now, he could picture leading his men, doing everything he'd done before. It was gonna happen.

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The job didn't care how long you'd been off, didn't care about "easing you back in" slowly...no fire fighting was an unsentimental, temperamental bitch. It had a way of slapping you in the face and waking you up even when you didn't know you were asleep. It was part of the appeal to all the men at 51.

Kelly returned on a Tuesday to the typical welcomes they all were greeted with when they'd been out because of injury. There was a cake, mainly because Mouch would use any excuse to have the house pay for a huge cake they could snack on all day. Or he could snack on for several days. The lunch was always the returning guy's favorite, and there was an extra serving of ball busting. This Tuesday was no exception.

Shay had Dawson make her arroz con pollo for lunch and Mills had a brisket slow cooking for the evening meal. It wasn't meant to be.

The first call came in right as they sat down to devour Gabby's chicken dish. Everyone groaned, everyone except Kelly. He was ready. He'd been waiting for this and had that feeling in his gut he hadn't felt in years...nerves, excitement, a little fear.

He didn't remember being like that since his first day as a candidate all those years ago, his first day of squad the same. And now. He'd passed the test every time...today would be the same he told himself.

The call was a car that thought it was a boat and careened into Lake Michigan. The driver found out pretty quick that his Camry couldn't float. The vehicle flipped and three were trapped inside. It was submerged pretty close to shore, so the water wasn't that deep. Unfortunately, it was deep enough to drown three panicked passengers. The driver had escaped, swimming to safety and then taking off on foot, not wanting his blood alcohol level to come into play.

Water rescue. Everyone was always a little on edge with those. 51 was like a well oiled machine, every call allowing the guys to come together as a team. The water rescues were different...it was usually Severide and one other squad member working to save someone or several someones with the rest of the team watching from above.

Nothing like trial by fire, thought Kelly giving his regulator a quick check. Or trial by no fire.

He was glad to have Clarke going in with him. His friend's last shift at 51 before taking the reins at 29. They'd gotten a rundown of the scene on the drive over and had a plan in place.

"Piece of cake," said Clarke patting Kelly on the back, seeing the nerves, the apprehension. Jesus, it'd been how long? He couldn't even imagine.

Shay was by her friend's side giving him a huge, full on hug...not her usual quick pat or peck on the cheek.

"You got this," she said looking him right in the eyes. It gave him the little extra oomph he needed and pushed him to get moving.

They entered the lake and each took position on both sides of the car. They could see three people inside frantically trying to open the doors, but pressure making it impossible. They were safely encased with plenty of air... at least for the time being. Kelly tried to motion to them to calm down, but they were screaming and pulling at the door handles.

Clarke was trying to signal one of the trapped to roll down a window...that would allow them to open a door, relieve some of the air pressure. They thought the guy in the orange scuba suit was crazy, their heads nodding no way in unison.

Kelly motioned to Clarke that he was going to break the window on his side, be ready. He had a feeling the three were not going to exactly float to the top. No, they'd be earnin' their money on this one.

He broke it quickly and without warning to the passengers, better if they didn't see it comin' he figured. Clarke opened one door, water flooding into the car now...three sets of eyes huge with fear.

Kelly swung open the door on his side and reached his hand out for the two passengers closest to him. One took his grasp eagerly, pulling past him and swimming to the top. Well I'll be damned, he thought. That was easy. The other was not so willing.

She was a twenty something who kinda didn't know where she was. A blood alcohol test would later reveal that she was three times the legal limit. Impaired didn't even begin to describe her condition. She flailed her arms crazily when Kelly came at her.

Clarke could see the commotion, but he was having issues of his own. The guy he had a hold of had a death grip administered to his neck. He wrenched free, but the young man kept coming at him. Jeff grabbed the guy's arm firmly, almost breaking it, and led him to the top. The last he saw was Severide struggling with spaghetti arms.

He handed off "the strangler" to Mills and dove back down to help Kelly. His lieutenant was already on the way up, a limp noodle in his arms now. Severide handed her off to Capp, pulling himself up, back on dry land. Clarke was yanking off the hood to his wetsuit, rubbing his neck, taking in deep breaths.

"You okay?" asked Kelly also pulling off his hood. "Looked like the guy was tryin' to kill you."

"Yeah, just gettin' my breath. I may have lied when I said piece of cake. Is crazy girl going to be okay?"

"Fine...all three of em."

"Way to get your feet wet."

"You did not just say that," laughed Kelly shaking his head.

"Oh yes I did. Did ya miss us?"

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Back at 51, they re-warmed the Dawson dish of wonder and dug in.

"If we're forty and you're still not married, let's get hitched," said Kelly mouth full of the chicken and rice deliciousness. Everyone laughed with Mouch looking like he may need some resuscitation.

"Just eat. Don't speak. You're always at your best when your mouth is closed," Dawson responded spooning another heaping on Kelly's plate.

"That's what she said," Shay called out cracking herself up.

Just when Kelly was about to get sentimental letting himself think how perfect this was...

Truck 81...Ambulance 61...Squad 3... 4701 South Loomis Boulevard...House fire, possible injuries...

"We're goin' to the hood, boys," said Hermann getting one more bite in.

"Let's do it," said Kelly. First day back wouldn't be complete without a fire. Well, he was gettin' one.

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The house fire turned into a three house fire with the blaze threatening house number four. People were outside crying, thinking about going back in. CPD was there in force, usually the case when they had a call in a neighborhood like Logan Square.

Kelly saw Erin immediately. It was funny how he could sense she was there even before seeing anyone from Intelligence. It was also funny how the Intelligence team was called to a house fire. Someone needed to check on her guy.

"Everything go okay? Are you okay?" asked Erin rushing to Kelly the minute his feet hit the ground.

"Perfect. Everything's good, babe. Really. Now, let me work," he said gently, aware of the eyes on him.

"Capp, Clarke, attack the middle house from the outside. Mills, you're with me," Kelly headed to the last house, the one about to be used as a match lighting up the next house on the street. They needed to extinguish that match...and now.

Casey and his men worked the outside of the last house, forming a human barrier between it and the house next door. They were taking a stand, deciding it was gonna take a hell of a lot more than the flames licking at their faces to get them to move.

Kelly and Mills stormed in hoping to quell the blaze from inside and out. When the heat hit Severide's face, he felt like a friend had returned. He realized how crazy that was and decided it was best to keep that one to himself. Yeah, no sharin' that with Erin.

They were surrounded by flames, but little by little the space between the two men and the fire became larger. He could tell they were makin' progress. He kept an eye on Mills, impressed with how far he'd come while he was out. Clarke was a damn good firefighter and a great guy to learn from. 29 was lucky to have him.

It was just a little flicker, maybe not even that. Whatever it was, Kelly flung himself at Mills sending the young guy sprawling on the floor, his lieutenant on top of him. The second they hit the ground, part of the wall right behind Mills fell away...almost simultaneously, a torrent of flames shot through aimed right where Pete's head had been.

Kelly rolled off his man, grabbing his hose and sending water into the flame shooting hole in the wall. Mills joined him. The effect was immediate...the fire was giving up. The hidden flames in the wall were dying under attack, and it was like the heart of a beast being removed. Just thirty more minutes and the two headed out to join the rest of the house. The whole thing was out in another forty five.

"Lieutenant, you saved my ass. Thanks," said Mills the minute he got Kelly alone.

"More like your head, but don't sweat it."

"How'd you know? How'd you know that was gonna happen?"

Severide loved that Mills was like a sponge, always wanting to know more, always absorbing every bit of knowledge to become the best fire fighter he could be. But he had no answer.

"I don't know. I think I saw a flicker, or somethin'." He was trying to articulate what it was that made him fling himself on the younger man. It was more of a feeling.

"So a flicker means flames are shootin' out of the wall? Got it," laughed Mills shaking his head. "I think you've got some sixth fireman sense."

Kelly didn't say anything, but deep inside he agreed. Call it instinct, luck, whatever...he had it. Always had, even from day one as a green, super nervous candidate.

And now, his first day back, the welcome confirmation that it was still there.

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**Yay**, **he made it back! Hope you liked it. Next up, relationship drama between Kelly and Erin. **

**If you love Severide centric stories, check out my new one "The Hotshot," Kelly's helping a friend fight wildfires in Colorado. Also, mom2jlg and I combined forces for "A Deal with the Devil" where Kelly has to help out Voight to pay a debt.**

**Okay, let me know what you think of this one. What's coming next?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you for the reviews and faves. I am so getting into this pairing the more I see them onscreen. That scene from Chicago PD...oh, so good. **

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"I wanna hear all about it," said Erin taking Kelly's jacket and pulling out a dining room chair. His indication to sit down. Bossy as always, he thought smiling. Wouldn't have it any other way.

"It was okay. Not much happened." Kelly plopped in the chair nonchalantly, exhausted in a good way. He had an innocent look on his face, or as innocent as he could make it.

"Cut the shit Severide and tell me all about it," Erin put a beer in front of him and sat down placing her hand on his.

"I was back. Don't know what else to say. I was back." Kelly let his face settle in a contented grin. It had been a long journey, the longest of his life, but he'd done it. Clawed his way all the way back. And having this beautiful woman by his side...things couldn't get any better.

"You're back alright. Now give me the details."

Kelly described the water rescue, the fire. He left out the scary parts. Yes, Erin was a cop with a real live gun, with bad guys shooting at her, but when it came to hearing about her guy's dangerous job it was best to leave out anything actually unsafe.

"I'm proud of you, so damn proud of you." Erin placed both hands on her guy's hands.

Kelly was proud of her too. She'd come a long way. Displays of affection were not her thing. He knew in a large part because of her childhood, or lack of one. She didn't have a loving mom, or really anyone to tell her they loved her more than toast. Voight the first one to value her. Damn, Voight. Kelly couldn't imagine. Yeah, Benny was MIA for most of his life, but Kelly knew he was lucky having his mom.

He couldn't count the number of times she told him he was the best thing that ever happened to her. He could still hear that voice, "You're my little man." Fifteen-years-old, towering over her, and she still said those words while looking up at him.

Must've been where all that Severide confidence, some would say cockiness, came from...mom. Benny hadn't been good for much but picking out a great woman to have a child with, that was a win. At least for Kelly, and he thanked God for the time he had with her.

He only wished Erin had experienced the same. He made it his personal mission to try to make up for it. He was gonna give her the love, the security she deserved. Now that my crap's over, she's gettin' all of me, everything I've got, he told himself silently.

Kelly pulled his hands out from under Erin's and placed them lightly on her shoulders letting them run down the length of her arms, back up again.

"Couldn't of done it without you," he said grinning at her.

That smile on her face, takes my breath away...every damn time I see those dimples.

"God, you're beautiful," he said moving his hands to her face and drawing her in for a kiss.

He thought he was dead to the world after his first shift back. Now he was havin' second thoughts, feeling a second or third wind. Kelly stood up holding Erin's hand and leading her back to her bedroom.

"You're not exhausted?" asked the brunette.

"You're kiddin' right?" asked Kelly, same grin spreading wider across his face. He'd been out of commission for too long. He told her he was back. Now he was gonna prove it.

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"It was good to have Severide back," said Gabby as they walked through Matt's front door.

"Definitely. He seemed good. Definitely a hundred percent."

"I think so. It'll be nice to have Shay back too. She's been a mess," commented Dawson thinking about her best friend.

"Yes, happy Shay beats bitchy Shay any day of the week," laughed Matt.

"More like worried Shay." Gabby hesitated. "Not to bring up a sensitive topic but you know we're invited to a barbecue tomorrow at a certain sergeant's house."

"And you are more than welcome to go alone. I will never set foot in that man's house. I can't believe you'd even ask, after what he put me through, Hallie through."

"I know. He's not my favorite human being, but Matt, if this thing with Kelly and Erin keeps going then you might have to rethink that."

"No, I don't. Can we drop it?"

"I guess. So I'm goin' it alone then?"

"If you are going." Matt paused for a long moment. "Hey, is your re-take still on for Thursday?" he finally asked thinking about all the postponements she'd had.

"Yes, it is. Why? Do you have a problem with that too?"

"I just asked if it was still on. What's wrong with that?"

"I know you don't want me to do it. I know it would make you happy if I postponed again. So, because I bring up Voight, you have to go there?"

"Jesus, Gabby, just interested in what's going on."

"You know what? I think I'll sleep at my place tonight." Dawson headed for the door.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," Casey called out as the front door slammed shut.

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A couple of shifts under his belt, Kelly was getting stronger and stronger, settling into a semblance of normalcy. The guys weren't treating him with kid gloves anymore, and Boden was actin' like he knew what he was doing.

Casey was probably the happiest about having squad's lieutenant back at 51. Clarke had done a great job, but the pressure to be the rock at the house had fallen firmly on Boden and Matt. They'd reassured the guys that Severide would return better than ever although doubts crept in daily.

"What're we going to do if Kelly doesn't come back," Boden had asked in the privacy of his office after a hell of a long shift.

"He'd have to be dead for that to happen. And he's still breathing. He's coming back," Casey reassured.

The words didn't rIng completely true that day, but Matt forced them out of his mouth. He knew what Boden needed.

Today, Casey could revel in his seat in Severide's quarters enjoying the bullshit session about the Blackhawks, and think about giving Boden an "I told you so."

"Well, I could argue with you all shift about hockey, but some of us got work to do," laughed Kelly thinking about a saw in back giving the guys a hard time.

"Alright, I hear you," said Matt slowly rising. "This is good," he added. He'd missed it, not realizing how much until his friend came back.

"Real good," answered Kelly.

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As Severide made his way to the back, he was almost toppled by the force of an ambush.

"What the hell, Kelly! Calling the brass behind my back!" Dawson was screaming exactly two inches away from Severide's face.

"Whoa. I don't know what the hell's goin' on but..."

"Always a little slow on the uptake, right? You didn't think I'd find out? I thought you were in my corner!" Gabby had tears in her eyes.

Kelly had confusion in his.

"Dawson. Slow down. Tell me exactly what you're talkin' about." He tried to put his hands on her shoulders, but she shook them off.

"You did not call the commissioner himself and try to get my retake waived? Try to get them to forget about it and make me a candidate here at 51?"

"Uh, no," answered Kelly.

"What do you mean 'no'?" asked Gabby much quieter.

"Why the hell would I call the commissioner? Your retake is Thursday. You're gonna pass. The only reason you came up short is cause you went back to help Jones and hurt your ankle."

"So you didn't ask for me to stay on at 51?" A clearer picture was slowly forming in Dawson's mind.

"You can't. Because of you and Casey. Sure I'd like to keep an eye on you, but I was hopin' 29 would take you. Clarke's there..."

"I think I just made a huge ass out of myself."

"So what else is new," Kelly said warily still not sure if he was out of the line of fire.

"Sorry, Severide. I've gotta run, um, sorry." Dawson backed away quickly heading to see the other lieutenant in the house.

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"You're a sight for sore eyes," Kelly said throwing his jacket over the couch, and bringing Erin in his arms.

"Rough day at the office?" Erin asked taking his embrace and resting in the warmth and strength of it. She ran her hands down his back and lower.

"Gettin' better by the minute." Kelly had that gleam in his eye that said dinner could wait. Everything could wait.

Erin took off to her bedroom, making a break for it with Kelly hot on her heels. Looking at him from one side of the bed, she knew things couldn't get any better. They would never get any better than this moment in time.

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That familiar buzz of her phone. Usually Voight or Jay. But all day it'd been a number she didn't recognize. Probably a CI with a new burner phone.

"Go ahead," said Kelly in between mouthfuls. Breakfast for dinner...their go to move when they wanted something quick. Omelette's tonight. Kelly's stuffed full of everything found in the fridge.

"Just get it over with. Don't want us interrupted later." Kelly smiled, mouth full.

"Keep eating lover boy. This'll be quick," Erin teased picking up after several rings.

"Hello."

"So good to hear that voice. How long's it been, sweet girl?"

Silence. Erin's breath was sucked out of her. She hadn't heard that voice in years, many years.

"Jimmy?" she asked knowing it was the man from the darker areas of her past. The man she hoped she would never hear from for the rest of her life.

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**Oh boy. Who wants to be in Casey or Erin's shoes right now? Not me. I'll update soon.**


	13. Chapter 13

**So glad you're still enjoying this one! Thank you for the awesome reviews - so much fun to read. Finally, you get a little intel on Jimmy and who he was in Erin's life. **

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"Sweet girl," Jimmy repeated, his voice barely audible. He had a way of speaking so softly you sometimes doubted if you'd heard what he said.

Erin got up and strode back into the bedroom with Kelly's eyes following her.

"What the hell do you want?" she hissed closing her door softly.

"Now is that any way to talk to an old friend? I'm just checkin' up on you. See how my favorite sweet girl is doin," Jimmy's tone dripped of sugary concern, but Erin knew better.

She knew Jimmy didn't have any concern for anyone but himself. He needed something, wanted something...that was the way he operated.

"We had a deal. You're not supposed to contact me. You're not supposed to be in the damn city!" Erin was trying not to let her voice get too loud, but all she wanted was to scream. This man had to go away. Now.

"Yeah, well, I might have to renege on that one. I need to see you. Tonight." Jimmy's tone had shifted. Erin had seen that turn many times.

"There is no way in hell that's happenin," whispered Erin.

"I'd hate to have to tell you're fireman that you're not such a sweet girl after all," Jimmy threatened.

"You've been watching me? You need to get your ass out of town now! Tonight!"

"I don't think so. We have a date. Our usual place at eleven. See you then." He was gone.

"Goddammit!" Erin muttered, doing her best not to yell. She paced back and forth at the foot of her bed in an unfamiliar position. She didn't know what to do. Tell Kelly everything. Call Voight for help. Meet Jimmy alone.

She'd take care of it alone, she told herself, taking a deep breath and smoothing her hair.

She stepped back to the kitchen, a regretful look in her eyes.

"I'm sleeping alone at my place tonight?" Kelly asked knowing Voight had probably called. The only other man she couldn't say no to.

"I'm sorry, Kelly. Believe me, going out is the last thing I want." She reached up grabbing his cheek with one hand, running it across the familiar stubble, softly.

"It's okay. Go bust some assholes. Be careful and call me when you get home. No matter how damn late. Okay?"

"Okay. I love you, you know that, right?" Erin continued stroking his cheek.

"I love you," Kelly answered reaching his hand to the back of her neck and easing her in for a light kiss. "Hey, you okay?" He knew something was up, probably something dangerous she didn't want to tell him about.

"Good. Just don't wanna go." Those were the truest words she would tell Kelly that night and for the next few nights to come.

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Gabby decided one blow out at 51 had been enough. Giving Severide hell for something he hadn't done taught her one thing...the next scream fest would be in private. Actually, the privacy of her guy's house.

"You've been quiet today," said Casey as they entered through his front door.

"Uh, no. You didn't hear me yellin' at Kelly?" she asked not quite believing he hadn't caught wind of it all.

"Oh Jeez. What happened?"

"It was my fault. Accused him of something he didn't do."

"What was that?" Casey plopped on the couch taking off his shoes.

"I thought he called the commissioner and asked him to go easy on me, to do me some favors."

Matt stopped what he was doing and looked at Gabby, taking in a deep breath.

"Uh, that would be me."

"Why would you do that? Why?"

"I was trying to be supportive. You're always sayin' I'm against this, so I wanted to show you I'm for it."

"You're for it? That is the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard! You have never wanted me to be a firefighter!"

"I'm for anything you're trying to do. I support you, Gabby. In anything." Matt tried to get her to sit by him, but she wasn't moving.

"No, you don't believe in me. That's the truth."

"So, when I voIce my concerns about your safety, I'm being an ass. Now, when I try to make things a little easier for you, I don't believe in you. I can't win!" Casey was frustrated, had been frustrated for quite some time. Things shouldn't be this difficult, he thought. We're just beginning this thing.

"I'm going home. I'll let you know if I pass or not. No shortcuts, no favors."

"Gabby, don't be like that. C'mon, babe." He could only watch as she stormed out, slamming the door behind her. He'd give her a couple of hours. She'd come around, he thought. He hoped.

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Erin hadn't set foot in The Flamingo for years. She promised herself she never would. Now, goin' back on that vow.

Apprehensive, she chewed on her bottom lip...a habit she developed as a nervous six-year-old and didn't break until in her late twenties. At the moment, rearing its ugly head as she strode into the seedy bar in a crime ridden area of the city.

She saw him immediately, sitting at the bar like he owned the place. He sensed her enter and swung his chair around smiling. Jimmy's olive skin against those white teeth had an effect on most women he met. They certainly had on her so many years earlier. He hadn't aged one day. Must be a deal with the devil, she thought bitterly. He was fifteen years her senior but didn't look a day over thirty five.

"Erin Lindsay. You look as beautiful as the day I left, sweet girl," he said rising from the stool and out stretching his arms.

She reluctantly entered them more out of habit than anything else, too many years of doing just what he wanted.

"Jimmy." she answered pulling away. "What're you doing here?" Seeing him, softened her tone. She couldn't bring herself to continue the screaming she began on the phone.

"Meeting you. I've missed you. Missed my city."

"You know you're not supposed to be in Chicago. It was what you agreed to," Erin said thinking back on that day she pushed him permanently out of her life. At least she thought it was permanent.

"Uh, about that. We're gonna have to renegotiate that one. I want back in. Back in on it all."

There it was, out in the open. Those years she'd spent in a drug induced fog, Jimmy by her side, all came flooding back in. He'd been her constant companion, her dealer, her bad influence, her drug. She had to admit it, also her love. Or at least she thought her love.

"I'm here to stay Erin," Jimmy finally said. "Now tell me about you being a cop," he laughed. "This oughta be rich."

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Kelly heard from Erin in the form of a text. Weird, he thought. They texted only when they were on shift. He always wanted to hear her voice...had a need to hear that husky voice. Just odd.

He tried calling three times before she finally answered.

"You okay?" he asked immediately, knowing she was probably on some hell of a case, not having the time to touch base.

"I'm good," Erin answered hurriedly needing to get off the phone. Every second she remained on the line was another moment that a lie could come out of her mouth.

All she'd thought about was what she was going to do...those same old options staring her in the face.

"Sorry I had to bail today, your day off," she said honestly.

"Probably do me some good, rest up. No rest around you," he laughed.

She forced a small sound resembling what she was tryin' to pass off as a laugh.

"I'll call you after this thing's over, okay? You be careful on shift tomorrow. Text me every hour."

"I will. You do the same. I hope this case pans out and quick. This not seeing you ain't workin' out for me, " Kelly said. "I love you," he added before hanging up.

"I love you so much." Erin answered heading back to Voight's office, answer clear in her mind now.

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"Hey, you're probably busy with Dawson today, but I thought I'd take a shot," said Kelly, not good at sitting on his ass to rest up. He figured he'd done plenty of that over the last couple of months.

"As a matter of fact, I'm not. Watcha got in mind?" Casey asked glad for the distraction.

The pair met up with Clarke and Manny...a fishing trip on the menu for the day. Benny's little cabin sat empty and lonely, waiting for the four firemen.

"So both of you losers have been dumped for the day," teased Manny, glad for his one day pass of relaxation free from diapers.

"Yep," said Kelly.

"Maybe more than a day," added Casey.

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" Clarke asked.

Casey gave the guys a play by play not wanting to relive it but also knowing he needed some advice. Gabby was leaving no doubt she was still pissed. Things hadn't thawed much.

"Not a smart move, lieutenant," said Clarke shaking his head.

"And how's Lisa?" asked Manny.

Clarke slapped the back of his friend's head with the tail end of a fishing rod.

"You went there?" laughed Kelly.

"How do you deal with it?" asked Casey turning toward Severide. "Erin's got a dangerous job. And you let her go to it. How?"

"First off, I don't 'let' her do anything. Also, that's a huge part of her. Probably wouldn't have fallen so hard if she didn't have that in her." Kelly answered.

"So girls with guns do it for you?" asked Manny.

"Jesus, you're full of it today aren't you? Mama let you out and now you're out of control," Clarke grabbed another beer from the cooler.

"It seems like whatever I do or say is all wrong," added Matt. "But we'll work it out."

"Hell yeah, you will. That girl's been in love with you from day one," said Kelly reaching for another beer.

"Let's quit with the bullshit and fish," Manny said passing a beer to Casey before taking one for himself. "Hey, we're gettin' low. Who's up for a beer run?"

Three hands went up.

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"Hank." Erin said simply, entering the sergeant's office.

One look up from his paperwork told Voight all he needed to know.

"What's wrong?" he asked, getting up from his chair.

"Hank," Erin said again, tears teasing at the corners of her eyes.

Voight pulled the young detective in for a tight hug. He pulled back, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Talk to me Erin."

"Jimmy's back. What the hell am I gonna do?" Erin's voice broke in a sob, her armor cracked and visible to the older man.

"You're not gonna do anything. I'll take care of it," Voight's gravelly voice rasped out.

Erin buried her head in his shoulder letting the tears flow freely, and letting herself think that maybe, just maybe, he might make good on that promise.

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**Will Voight make good on his promise? Will Erin come clean to Kelly? Oh, nothing's ever smooth, is it? Haha! Thoughts?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks for all the reviews and faves! I'm glad you're enjoying this one. I'm loving Linseride, so this is one after my own heart. Hope you like it.**

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Voight would do whatever it took to get Erin out of her Jimmy predicament just like he'd done so many years ago. He would do more.

He rapped on the cheap motel door...three quick knocks.

"Comin," came that familiar voice, the one he thought he'd rid himself of.

"Hank Voight," Jimmy said, big grin spreading slowly across his face like the Cheshire Cat. He didn't have the respect needed to address him as sergeant or even detective. He opened his door wider motioning the sergeant to come on in. He'd been expecting this visit. Actually wondering what the hell took so long.

"I guess you know why I'm here," said Voight with a huge grin of his own. But those eyes said anything but happiness. They held a warning in them that anyone with half a brain would heed. Jimmy had more than half a brain, but he also had the balls of ten men. He didn't have a healthy respect for the cop.

"I need you to get out of my city. Tonight."

"That's gonna be a hard one for me. I don't plan on leaving for a long, long time." There was a prolonged pause. Voight looked like he was running a couple of ideas through his head.

Jimmy continued. "Erin owes me. You owe me. I plan on collecting."

"Everything's been paid Jimmy. I think you forgot that you only did seven months. Shoulda been a lot more." Voight's smile was gone.

"And how much time exactly should Erin have done? Wait, I don't remember her spending one day in jail. I don't remember her record being tarnished at all and that's why she's a cop today. So, yeah. I'm staying."

"The hell you are. We can do this the easy way where you leave tonight. Or we can do this the hard way and believe me, you don't want that Jimmy." Voight took a step toward the younger man.

"Now you get the hell out before I have to call the cops." Jimmy's smile remained.

Voight didn't argue. He smiled again. "See ya soon Jimbo. Don't get too comfortable."

Hank left knowing he needed to talk to Erin first. He was treading on shaky ground and didn't know how far to push. He was ready to push someone straight into a self dug grave. He didn't think Erin would agree.

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Erin's off shifts hadn't coincided with Kelly's for two weeks, and it wasn't a coincidence. She was taking the coward's way out. She knew Severide deserved more...they'd been through so much. She kept telling herself this was just another bump, one bump in a long road that would have many more to come.

Tonight was the night she was coming clean. She'd arranged to leave work early and Kelly was getting off around six. He was heading straight for her place. Lasagne in the oven, salad in the fridge, bottle of red on the table, and a speech the size of Alaska had been rehearsed over and over in her mind.

"Damn, it's good to see your face. I've missed you," Kelly was through the door and had the small brunette in his arms before she could say a hello. She laughed as he picked her up a little kissing her full on the mouth, a big, wet, sloppy kiss.

"Mmmm, I missed you," he repeated. "And I'm starving. Mills and Dawson were out. Otis made something that resembled goulash. He said it was his grandma's recipe and all I can say is she must've had a bunch of skinny kids."

"I made a little something called lasagne, perhaps you've heard of it? Salad's in the fridge. And I have this bottle calling our names." Erin picked up the wine swinging it a little side to side.

Kelly gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Let me shower real quick. I'll be back in two." He took off toward her bathroom, but she grabbed his hand.

"I've also got a six pack in the fridge. So make it snappy." She knew he wasn't big into wine, but offer a beer and he was more than happy to oblige.

"I'm runnin,' I'm runnin," Kelly grabbed his bag and sprinted to the shower.

Truth time. She figured she had about ten minutes. She'd start the evening with a story, a long one about a troubled teenage girl, a girl who ended up on drugs, doing anything she had to for her next high. A girl starved for love, who would devour it from anyone willing to hand it out. Erin poured herself a tall glass of wine...now about eight minutes to finish it.

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"Hey, come here," said Kelly softly drawing Erin in close to his body. He knew things were far from storybook in her childhood, but hadn't realized how hellish her teen years had been. Not until this moment.

"I love you. All of you," he said squeezing her in so tight. "In case you didn't hear, I wasn't exactly a Boy Scout."

"There's more," Erin said trying to stop the tears she would always feel uncomfortable with. She told him about Jimmy, about how he protected her, exploited her, and maybe loved her.

"When I started working for Voight as his CI, Jimmy was for it. He said we could always use a cop on our side. But then everything changed. Hank offered me a new life, a better life. He cared. For the first time I had someone who cared about me and wanted nothing in return."

"I wish I could go back and change it all for you, all of it," said Kelly drawing her in tighter. "I'm glad you're tellin' me all of this."

Erin buried her face in his chest not wanting to tell him about Jimmy's return.

"I mean it. I love you. I don't want you relivin' this shit." Kelly eased her head back a little to look in her eyes.

"There's more," said Erin with a long pause. "Jimmy's back. And I do owe him, Kelly. I do." The tears would not be abated. They were soaking her cheeks and saturating Kelly's shirt.

She felt her man's body tense. Shit, this is it, she thought.

"You don't owe him a goddamn thing," Kelly finally said thinking about this man... no, piece of shit who took advantage of a young girl.

"I do. He took the heat for me when a dealer we worked with went down. Voight scrubbed the books clean but the DA was goin' for more arrests on any level."

"But you were his CI. I don't get it."

"I was a CI on a different supplier. I didn't get my stuff from the house I worked in."

"So Jimmy took the fall?"

"Yeah. Voight brokered a deal. He only served a fraction of what he could've done. I served zero of what I could've done."

"You were a kid. Jimmy was an adult. He knew what he was doin'. You gotta let this go." Kelly had tightened up. The thought of some douche bag threatening his girl did not sit well.

"You're disappointed in me," said Erin knowing something in the fireman had shifted.

"What the hell?" Kelly was confused. "Where's that comin' from?"

"I can feel it...in you."

"You couldn't be further from the truth. I'm proud of you. Look where you are now?"

Erin shook her head. "Kelly, I can feel it in you."

"You feel me gettin' pissed at the thought of some asshole bothering you. You feel me ready to send Jimmy back to whatever hole he crawled out from."

"You aren't doing anything. Promise me right now. Voight's taking care of it. Tell me you won't do anything."

"I can't tell you that, Erin. Your problems are my problems."

"Kelly, Jimmy isn't someone you want to mess with. I don't want you even talking to him. Please. I don't need to be worried about what you're going to do."

"Can't promise that. I can promise you that I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you. I can one hundred percent guarantee you that."

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Voight and Olinsky parked it outside Jimmy's hotel room...discussing various scenarios. Arguing over different ways they could play this out. Over two hours they'd been there.

"Erin is not going for us permanently takin' care of this," said Alvin again.

"Sometimes Erin doesn't get what she wants. Sometimes you gotta do what's best for someone," responded Voight again.

They were at a standstill.

"What the hell's he..." Olinsky said watching a man in a black leather jacket get out of his car, halligan in hand, and stride up to Jimmy's room.

"Aw, shit," rasped out Voight jumping from the passenger side, sprinting to follow the younger man. "Severide!" he yelled as Kelly went through the front door.

By the time Hank broke the door down, the fireman was on top of Jimmy swinging the metal object near the prone man's head.

"Jesus Christ!" yelled Voight pulling at Kelly's shoulder trying to pry him off. Olinsky came barreling in and the two older men got Severide off.

"Get the hell out! I got this!" screamed Kelly in the two faces staring at him in disbelief.

"I wanna press charges! This asshole..."

"Shut up!" yelled the two cops.

"Get him out of here," Voight commanded, leaving just himself and Jimmy in the room.

"Were gonna take a little trip, you and me. We're headin' to the docks." Voight grabbed the back of Jimmy's shirt and roughly pushed him out the door.

Kelly and Olinsky hadn't even made it down the stairs.

"Don't make me arrest you," threatened Alvin.

"You and what army?" challenged Severide. "I'm takin' care of that piece of shit once and for all. He's never botherin' Erin again. He's never even lookIn' at her." Kelly was pushing against Olinsky, the sight of Jimmy out of his hotel room fueling a new hatred.

The smile on Jimmy's bloody face made all three men want to take the asshole to the docks.

Hank roughly shoved the younger man in the back of his cruiser, Olinsky getting in the passenger side and Kelly trying for the opposite back door.

"Go home! You want no part of this!"

"I'm in this! I had it under control till you got here!" yelled Kelly.

Voight slammed his car door shut, tires peeling in a wake of smoke. The fireman jumped in his car determined to follow the cops.

"No docks. Go to the cage," said Alvin.

"No choice. Can't lose this asshole. You lucked out today, Jimbo."

Jimmy remained quiet in the backseat remembering what Erin said about "the docks." He could hear her voice talking about how people didn't come back from the docks. Ever.

Voight pulled into a back alley with a side entrance to the cage. Not the one at CPD. This was the cage for "special" cases.

Kelly slammed his door and strode to Voight pulling Jimmy out of his backseat.

"I'm not leavin.' I wanna part of this."

"Well come on."

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Erin woke up to find a note where Kelly's body had been.

"Went on a run. Be back soon."

After three hours, Erin figured he was up to no good or in a marathon. Calls to Voight remained unanswered. Texts to Kelly ignored.

She took off to Jimmy's hotel. She was afraid of what she'd find. Anything would be her fault.

The empty room did nothing to allay her fears. Seeing a little blood on the carpet only intensified them.

"Shit, Kelly Severide. What have you done."

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"So how's this gonna work?" asked Kelly peering at Jimmy inside the cage. "Just give me two minutes in there."

"Jesus, you sure he isn't your son?" asked Olinsky.

"Shut up. This is gonna work when you turn around and get the hell out of here. You're keepin' your hands clean."

"My hands haven't been clean since I was twelve."

Voight sighed deeply.

"Let him stay." Olinsky was getting impatient.

"Suit yourself," Voight said opening the door to the cage. "You're gonna wish you never came back to my city," Hank said to Jimmy, now cowering in the far corner.

Kelly blinked and Jimmy's face was smashed against the front of the grating.

"Aaaahhhh!"

Voight grabbed his prey by the throat, flinging him across the cage...sending him smashing hard to the concrete floor. He walked to the fallen man, smashing his foot on his hand, a distinctive crunch heard. More screaming.

Voight slowly leaned over Jimmy, placing a knee in his chest. He grabbed him by the throat and squeezed.

"Two choices and one minute to decide. Leave tonight or were headin' to the docks. Answer please."

Silence.

"You might have to let go of his neck," suggested Olinsky.

Voight loosened his grip a little and Jimmy gasped for air.

He was frantically nodding his head yes.

"What?!" screamed Voight. "What's it gonna be?"

"I'm gone," Jimmy choked out.

"You sure as hell are," said Hank leaving the door to the cage open.

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Erin gave up on finding Kelly...or Voight...or Jimmy. She walked through her door to see her guy at her dining room table drinking a beer.

"Hey," he said looking up.

She rushed to him, jumping in his lap, spilling his beer. She grabbed his face and kissed him full on the lips.

Erin pushed him back and slugged him in the arm. Hard.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"Oh, you know. You know. Please tell me that everyone's alive."

"Everyone's alive."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Erin grabbed Kelly's face again and kissed him with a passion leaving no mistake that the bedroom was destination number one. He cupped her in his arms from her spot on his lap and carried her to her bed.

"You got nothin to worry about anymore," whispered Kelly as he rolled Erin on top of him.

"Promise."

"Yeah, promise."

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Outside Erin's apartment, Jimmy watched as two shadows passed in front of the window. Earlier he saw Severide go in, then Erin head up a few minutes later.

Jimmy was making a promise of his own.

"I'm not leavin' my city without you, sweet girl," he said in the emptiness of his car, running his fingers up and down the barrel of the small silver object in his hand.

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**Holy crap, right? Haha! Maybe Voight should have done more? Hmmmm...**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you for the best, nicest reviews I've ever gotten! Blown away by your responses, love it. I'm updating quick although you may not be happy with me. Haha! Enjoy!**

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"You know just what I need," said Erin relaxing for the first time in days. She lay on her side, face to face with the man she loved, a white sheet drawn over both their heads. He kissed her on the forehead enjoying their little cocoon. If only they could stay in there forever.

"How do you do that to me?" she asked playfully, kissing Kelly on the forehead.

He shrugged his shoulders and raised both eyebrows innocently.

"I think you've done this before."

"Yeah, three days ago, remember. We were right here. You made that weird face."

"Shut up! I think you've done that move before then. I think you've had practice, young man."

"Last weekend we were at my place. Is it comin' back to you now?"

"Shut up and kiss me." Erin pushed her mouth on his, her lips feeling the fullness of his, her tongue brushing up against his.

Kelly rolled on top of her, pinning both wrists up by her head. His kisses moved from her mouth to behind her ear, so softly at first she could barely feel them. He followed an imaginary line down her neck to the top of her breasts, then back up again. He landed at her mouth and abruptly pulled away.

"I wanna see you make that weird face again."

"I wanna make that weird face again," whispered Erin pulling him back into her, running her fingers across his back, wrapping her legs around him.

He moaned as she dug her nails into his back pulling them down the length of it.

I'm never leaving this little cocoon, he thought brushing the hair out of her face. Never. I'm stayin' right here forever.

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The longer Jimmy waited in his car, the more enraged he got. It started as a small simmer, but his imagination at what was going on in Erin's apartment became a full on raging boil after 30 minutes. His initial plan of waiting until Severide left was quickly being abandoned. He wanted to talk some sense into Erin. First, he would beg to stay in his city, his hometown. If that didn't work, then he'd beg her to come with him. He knew she would listen and he figured he had half a shot. They'd been through so much.

After an hour of sitting in his car, looking for some sign of movement upstairs, those hopes were evaporating like all his dreams of a hero's return to Chi Town. The thought of his sweet girl with that fireman, in her apartment, for all that time. Hell, he was probably spending the night. No time to wait. He had to act now.

Jimmy put the small revolver in his jacket pocket, tucked away just for back up. Won't even have to use it, he thought. Jesus, won't even have to take it out, he rationalized.

He walked slowly up the steps to Erin's place. Damn she'd done so well for herself. Living a legit life, makin' good money, a job she said she loved. A cop. Hell, who would've thought it. There ain't no way she's givin' all that up, he thought as his hand began its motion to knock on her door. He thought about turning around, maybe just get the hell out of town. Avoid Voight, not embarrass himself.

But then he heard it. Laughter.

The laugher was coming from within. Erin's deep laugh…the one she had when she was truly happy. Not the little giggle when she was amused, not the fake one she gave when trying to be polite. No, this was her real laugh. And he had no part in it. Some asshole fireman did. There it was again.

He knocked twice on the door, hands in his pockets. His right fingers touching cold metal, stroking it like a lucky penny.

"Jimmy," Erin said so shocked nothing else would come from her mouth. She was frozen in place, not able to move back in or head out.

"Hey, do you want caramel or fudge? You gotta pick one. Don't say you're not havin' some…I already served it…" Kelly's face changed instantaneously when he saw Jimmy in the doorway.

He threw the scooper he had in his hand to the floor and rushed on the dark haired man, practically running through Erin.

"Hold up!" she yelled placing her hand up against his chest, pushing back lightly.

"What the hell do you not get? How much plainer can I make it?" Kelly yelled in Jimmy's face spit flying from the corners of his mouth.

Erin's hand was now at her side. Kelly had pushed around it and was chest to chest with Erin's ex…or whatever he was.

"I just wanna say goodbye. That's all. In private." Jimmy knew sympathy would be the best way to Erin's heart. She could be rough around the edges, but beneath the hard exterior lay a heart that couldn't pass up any stray… dog or human.

"The hell you are! Get outta here before I break you in two!" Kelly was pushing Jimmy back roughly with the older man just taking it. He let himself flounder a few steps out of the doorway, never breaking his gaze…aimed straight at Erin Lindsay.

"Cut it out!" yelled Erin. "Both of you! Get in here!"

They headed back in the apartment, Kelly vowing to kick some ass the second they were outside.

"You have two minutes. Time starts now. Go on. Say goodbye." Kelly looked at this phone and plopped in a recliner.

"In private," said Jimmy still looking at Erin, trying to grab one of her hands.

"No can do, asshole. Say goodbye and crawl back to whatever hell you came from. A minute and a half now," Kelly answered.

"Erin, please," Jimmy pleaded still standing.

"Jimmy, just go. Goodbye. I want the best for you, but please, go." Erin was crying now, with Kelly ready to put someone in a watery grave, wishing he had earlier.

"I want the best for me too. That's you, sweet girl."

"Time's up. " Kelly rose from his seat and grabbed Jimmy by the arm leading him to the door.

"Take your hands off of me!" yelled Jimmy, the puppy dog look gone, replaced with an icy stare Erin knew so well.

"Nah, don't think so. You're leaving Chicago. Now!" Kelly grabbed more roughly, both hands pushing the man through the door.

Jimmy pulled out his insurance policy, the small revolver. With it, he stopped Kelly in his tracks.

"Whoa, Jimmy," said Erin trying to reach out to him, inching her way forward.

Kelly pushed her back firmly.

"Get back in. We'll talk man to man out here," said Kelly giving her a look that said to just listen for once.

"Jimmy, put that away and come back in. You don't wanna do this," she pleaded knowing she had about thirty seconds to diffuse the situation.

"You get the hell in the apartment," Kelly said physically moving the small brunette back in her place. "And you," he said turning toward Jimmy. "We're takin' this outside."

"WE'RE not going anywhere. Get your hands off Erin. She's comin' with me. That's what you want isn't it?" Jimmy asked Erin.

"Yeah, Jimmy." Erin tried to move around Kelly but he wasn't having it.

He couldn't believe she'd just said she wanted to go with him.

"You'll have to use that little toy your sportin' if you think I'm lettin' Erin leave with you."

"Kelly, just let me talk to him." The desperation in Erin's eyes was unmistakable but the fireman was not giving an inch.

"Bullshit. Now get back in there and shut the door. Now."

"Don't talk to her that way! She can make up her own mind. Him or me Erin, right now. C'mon, let's get out of here." Jimmy pressed the gun into Kelly's chest trying to force him to move aside.

"Kelly, move. I'm gonna talk to him outside. Plea..."

Kelly was in disbelief that Erin was actually leaving with this asshole. Looking in those eyes, he knew she was trying to keep him safe. Goddamn it. She is trying to protect me, he thought wanting to scoop her up and out of there.

The motion was so swift no one saw it coming, especially not Kelly who was still transfixed on his girl's face.

Jimmy whipped the gun across Kelly's forehead in one quick move, a practiced swing he'd done many times before. All with the same result.

Severide fell to the floor with a loud thud, not conscious enough to break any of his fall. Erin reached her arms out in a late, failed attempt to do something. Her eyes were wide in disbelief and horror knowing this had gone to an area there would be no returning from.

"Kelly!" she screamed kneeling by the man she loved, reaching for his face. Jimmy grabbed her shoulder roughly, pulling her away.

"Get up! Get up! Or I'm putting a bullet in him!"

Erin rushed at Jimmy throwing him against the side wall, the gun rattling in his hand slightly. She felt the unsteady grip and went for it. Her hand grasping for the small revolver, his hand regaining the tight hold he had a few seconds earlier. She clawed at his wrist, drawing blood.

Jimmy backhanded Erin with his free arm sending her tumbling over Kelly's body. She stumbled to her feet and lunged at the older man, his back hitting the wall again. This time she used all her leverage to push her body into his and grab at the gun. They both had it, trying to twist and turn the other away. The gun swung one way wildly, firing at the floor.

Erin was using every bit of her, every damn ounce inside her to get that gun. She knew she was fighting for more than herself, for something she cared about more than her own life. She was fighting for the man on the floor behind her. She saw that look in Jimmy's hardened eyes when she made that first lunge. It was the look of someone who now had nothing to lose, the look of a desperate man.

Erin's small frame had been rammed against one wall, then another. She had a couple more minutes of fight left...she knew this. She went for another grab at the gun, wringing Jimmy's wrist hard, trying to pry that damn gun free. The gun was above their heads with Jimmy keeping it out of reach. Erin punched him in the ribs, sending the gun back down. He just wouldn't let go.

She tried for the barrel panting hard, sweat pouring from her. The gun turned in towards their bodies, first hers then his. They came tumbling to the floor, both slamming down hard. The jolt causing both of them to bounce up a little.

The sharp sound rang out leading to a stillness the apartment hadn't seen in an hour. Now, two bodies lay where one had been a few minutes earlier. A frantic call to 911...the sound of sirens could be heard drawing near.

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**I'll update soon...promise. Can't leave you hanging too long. What do you think?**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you again for all the reviews! Your kind words make my day. If you love Kelly drama check out the new one, Lt. Sweetride by CavalierQueen. It's Severide with an OC and the name alone is hilarious. I love it! Hope you enjoy this chapter of mine.**

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Kelly knew he heard something...a part of his brain awoke to the semi-conscious realization that a loud sound rang out. It was a noise he'd heard before. What was it? He cracked his left eye open and the light bore straight to his forehead.

"Aaahhh," he groaned trying to bring his hand to his face. He forced both eyes open a little and saw he was on the floor.

He was looking at a pair of boots in front of him. Small, black, similar to his.

Erin's boots.

It took another minute for him to fully see what that meant.

"Erin," he called, bringing his hand to his forehead and feeling something wet. He looked at the red covering his palm in a fog.

"Oh God. Erin," he called louder willing himself to roll on his side, then up on one knee. The room swam in a circle, Kelly feeling a nausea rising in his stomach.

He crawled to the figure beside him, leaning over it.

"Erin, Erin!" he tried to scream not reaching for his phone, not doing anything except touch the oozing red coming from the back of her skull.

Kelly dropped his too heavy head on Erin's stomach, saying her name over and over. He knew he should be doing something but didn't know what it was. He heard footsteps running up the stairs, felt himself being rolled over.

I'm gonna be sick, he thought. He snapped back to a cloudy thought of Erin. Wait, that was Erin?

He said her name again while someone flashed a light in his eyes. He heard their voices.

"Erin," he said once more before darkness swarmed over him.

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Hank Voight rushed through Lakeshore like a force of nature.

"Detective Erin Lindsay was brought in here." The sergeant's voice was a raspy whisper. There was something new in it. Fear.

The nurse on duty directed him to a waiting area telling him she was up in surgery...didn't know anything yet. Assured the cop that she'd update as soon as she found out Erin's condition.

Leslie Shay got up to meet Voight at the door.

"Did you hear anything?" she asked hoping the badge had some kind of miracle pull.

"No. Nothin'. Did you see them? What did the paramedics say?"

"Kelly has blunt force trauma to the head. Erin..." Shay's voice broke.

"Tell me," Voight demanded.

"She was shot. I really don't know..."

"Where?" the cop interrupted. "Where was she shot?"

Shay hesitated. "The head."

Voight hung his head. "Damn," he muttered barely audible.

Leslie instinctively stepped forward putting her arm on his clumsily. She didn't think about the motion...it was pure Shay. She saw someone hurting and had to step in.

Voight accepted the gesture stiffly. They'd had some interactions, hell, she'd even been to his house a couple of times. But he needed his team right now... Olinsky, Antonio. Instead he had some frigid stares comin' at him from a lieutenant sitting in one of the chairs in the corner, a dark haired paramedic at his side, and the chief at 51. Yes, this was as good as it was gonna get till his people got there. When Shay leaned her head into his shoulder, he took it. His hand even went up to the back of her head, stroking it once. Fear could connect people, make them hang on to each other...hold each other up, just so they wouldn't break.

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A doctor entered the now packed waiting room causing both sides to jump up like soldiers at attention.

"Family of Kelly Severide." The cop half of the room slumped noticeably.

"Yes," Shay stepped forward, eyes wide. "His father's on his way. I'm his emergency contact."

"He's going to be okay," began the doctor smiling, knowing to cut to the chase. "He's got one helluva hard head."

"You're tellin' us," chimed in Clarke from just behind Shay.

"It finally came in handy," added Casey, his arm around the blonde.

"He's got a pretty serious grade three concussion. We're keeping him over night, maybe two depending on how he does, but I expect a full recovery."

An audible sigh escaped every member of 51.

"Now I need someone to go in and calm him down. He's trying to get out of bed. He's asking about an Erin. He's worked up, and he needs to be still right now."

At the sound of Erin's name, Voight was in the doctor's face, pushing past Shay.

"Do you have any information about Erin Lindsay? Detective Erin Lindsay?"

"I'll see what I can find out. Sit tight." The doctor turned toward Shay. "Let me take you in to your friend first."

"Sit tight," Hank rumbled to his team. "Where the hell else would we go? Jesus Christ." He dumped himself back in the seat he'd been keeping company with for hours.

"You heard him. He's finding out how our girl's doing. She's fine. That's what he's gonna say." Olinsky believed the words he said to his friend. He had to.

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Kelly was half out of his bed, trying to untangle the web of wires attached to his arm, his chest.

"Lieutenant! You need to get back in bed, or I'm going to sedate you." The doctor pushed the fireman back against the pillow.

"I need to find Erin," Kelly protested, now looking at Shay.

"Kel, please." Shay was by his side holding his hand tightly. "Dr. McKenzie's checking on Erin now. Right, doctor?"

"Don't talk to me like I'm three. I need to see her. Shay..." Kelly's voice broke. She stroked his shoulder moving her face next to his.

"Shay, I didn't do anything. I didn't call for an ambo, I didn't stop the bleeding..." His voice broke again.

"Kelly, you were hurt. You couldn't think. Please just calm down."

"Calm down? Erin had a hole in her fucking head and I just sat there! Is she dead? She's dead and you don't want to tell me!" Kelly pushed her hands off of him, throwing a leg off the side of the bed.

Shay and Dr. McKenzie caught him before he hit the floor hard. The doctor had motioned for a nurse.

Kelly could only watch as a shot entered the top of his arm. He didn't want to calm down. He needed to get up, to find Erin.

"No, no," he cried out. "Erin. Please Shay. No. Don't do thi..." Shay was helpless also...powerless as she looked at her best friend, tears on his cheeks, fighting the pull of the drug. Her own tears dripping onto Kelly's bed as her heart broke.

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Burgess and Atwater stepped into The Flamingo and saw him immediately.

"Turn around, asshole!" Atwater yelled, gun drawn, looking for any excuse to fire.

"Settle down, deputy dog. Let me just finish this one off and..."

Atwater slammed Jimmy's head into the bar, the glass he'd been drinking from shattering on the wood floor. Burgess was behind him, cuffing him roughly. She grabbed his arm, pulling him toward the door.

"You have the right to remain silent..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill," Jimmy slurred.

Atwater slapped him on the back of the head.

"Shut up!" he barked.

In the cruiser, Burgess radioed in, "We got him. Any news?"

Their drunken perp in the back of the car perked up.

"Did you hear anything? Been callin' all night." Jimmy slurred.

"Shut your mouth before I break it. You don't get to speak. You lost all your rights when you shot Detective Lindsay." Atwater wished the guy would make a break for it, even pull a gun. Today was not his lucky day.

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"You are the reason this happened!" Voight was pointing at Olinsky's chest, screaming at his oldest friend.

The hours of waiting taking their toll.

"If we'd taken care of Jimmy like I wanted to, we wouldn't be here right now!" Hank needed a scapegoat, someone to take out his frustrations on.

"You're right." Alvin said softly.

The firemen sat watching from across the room. Boden wearily got up to intervene if needed.

"Doctor 'slow as fuck' left over thirty minutes ago, and he hasn't come back!" yelled Voight.

"I know," said Olinsky.

Voight walked to the door, changed his mind and stomped back. "Why didn't you let me take him to the docks? Why?" He was screaming again and shaking.

Alvin grabbed him roughly bringing him in, not letting go despite the resistance. He didn't give a shit about the eyes on them. He knew how deep this cut.

"Erin Lindsay," Dr. Arata called out looking around the waiting room full of cops and firemen.

Voight broke free of Olinsky giving his face a quick wipe. He was in front of the doctor in two strides.

"She's a lucky woman."

Relief. Voight felt it wash over him.

"The bullet did not penetrate her skull. It traveled under her skin the length of her head down to her neck. Didn't hit her vertebrae. It lodged in between the clavicle and scapula... a real bugger to get out."

"Where is she?" Voight was heading to the door.

"She's in recovery. Give it an hour. I'll be back."

"Excuse me, doctor." Chief Boden rose wearily. "Can you check on my lieutenant? Severide. A Dr. McKenzie said he was going to be fine... Shay, one of my paramedics went back. We haven't heard anything."

"Will do. Give me ten minutes." Dr. Arata shook Voight's outstretched hand before taking off.

The bloody mess that arrived had turned out so much better than he thought possible. Damn lucky cop. It was a good night, he thought, heading to the nurse's station to check on a fireman.

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Shay knew there was a roomful of men waiting to see Kelly for themselves. She didn't care. She wasn't leaving her best friend. No way.

She held his hand, stroked his arm...kept having to remind herself to avoid touching his bandaged forehead, not rub his hair back like she did so often.

His eyebrows were fixed in a scowl. The sedative had knocked him out, but it hadn't calmed him down. Not really. Shay could see the unsettled look even in his unconscious state. She wasn't moving. She'd be there when he came to.

Dr. Arata entered quietly. He'd gotten a report from McKenzie but wanted to look for himself before reporting back to the waiting firemen.

"How's he doing?" he asked grabbing Kelly's chart.

"Upset. Hurting. Worried about his girlfriend."

"I'm Dr. Arata," he said extending a hand. "I performed the surgery on Miss Lindsay. She's going to be just fine."

"How? Really?" Shay now couldn't wait for Kelly to wake up.

"Bullet didn't go through her skull. She's extremely lucky," he put down Kelly's chart. "There's a roomful of men waiting for me to update them on this one. Dr. Mckenzie should be back soon."

"Thank you. Tell them I'm sorry, but I can't leave right now."

"Will do." Dr. Arata took off knowing his ten minutes had turned into twenty.

"Mmmm..." Kelly groaned, fighting the drug...willing himself to wake up.

He opened his eyes. Shay's smiling face was waiting. He tried to smile back.

Erin. It started to come back to him, but he wasn't fully coherent. It was like trying to think while your brain was wrapped in cotton.

"Erin's fine," Shay whispered.

"Really?"

"Yes, I promise. The bullet didn't go through her skull. She's okay, really."

"Take me to her." Kelly knew he'd need help to get to her. But he also knew he had to see her. A part of him didn't fully believe Shay.

"Okay." Shay didn't bother arguing. Instead, she went to the nurses station in search of a friendly face.

She smiled broadly at the cute nurse behind the counter.

"What are the chances we can take my friend to see Erin Lindsay?"

It took a little convincing, but Shay wrangled a wheelchair and a comrade in arms, or a comrade in a super secret mission to get her guy to his girl.

"I am so fired if Dr. McKenzie finds out," whispered Cassidy, Shay's new bestie, at least for another fifteen minutes.

There was something mischievous in her eyes...it was what gave Shay the courage to approach the young woman with her plan.

"Ten minutes. When we get you up there, you have ten minutes with her. Then you're going to rest and do exactly what we say. Deal?"

Kelly looked at the demanding young thing and felt his head get a little worse. But he agreed.

"You sure you're up for this?" asked Shay noticing the sick look on his face.

"No, but I have to see her, Shay. I have to tell her I love her."

Cassidy was sure she'd made the right decision. Her fairy tale imagination was eating this up.

"Dr. McKenzie will be making his rounds soon. We've got to move." She was working quickly, removing every IV, easing the fireman up slowly.

"I'm gonna be sick," said Kelly once up to sitting with his legs hanging over.

"Here." Cassidy shoved a plastic kidney dish in his hands.

Shay grabbed one arm, the nurse the other... depositing Kelly in the wheelchair with one quick swoop. He tried to put a hand to his head, but it only made the pounding worse.

"You sure?" asked Shay again.

"Yes, I'm good," he answered gritting his teeth together, taking a deep breath.

The two women wheeled Kelly rapidly into a waiting elevator, up to three, and into the room Erin was now occupying.

Her head was heavily bandaged, no sign of hair peeking out. She was so pale...Kelly immediately thought of a viewing at a funeral. He wiped the tears that came the second he saw her. God, she looks so small. So weak. So not like Erin.

Shay put a steadying hand on his shoulder as they wheeled him to her bedside. He reached for Erin's hand, relieved at the warmth in it. It held the heat of a living person, confirmed that she was okay. It was his Erin. More tears came, Kelly letting them fall. He lay his head down on her chest listening to that pounding within. He wanted to stay there all night, to hear that reassuring sound, that strong drum indicating life.

"I love you, Erin. I love you," Kelly whispered letting the weight of his head fully rest on her chest, the heaviness lessened now. "Don't do that again. I need you. You got that? I need you," he breathed out, the words not audible to anyone else. Just the two of us, he thought.

The two of us. Till the day I die.

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**I had to have Kelly check on Erin no matter what. I can so picture that happening on the show. What did you think?**


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